Summary

• Calvin and Hobbes captures childhood essence authentically, providing heartwarming series on loyalty and friendship with hilarious punchlines.
• While punchlines in Calvin and Hobbes are memorable, the comic strip stands out due to its well-written characters and genuine portrayal of childhood.
• Calvin and Hobbes humorously showcases Calvin's antics, anarchist spirit, and vivid imagination, making it a timeless comic strip loved by fans.

Calvin and Hobbes is known for one thing: being hilarious - and the many punchlines delivered in the series are key contributing factors.

What’s great about Calvin and Hobbes is, while it utilizes punchlines throughout the series, it isn’t reliant on them. The comic strip would still stand as one of the greatest of all time without quips, jokes, or punchlines because of how authentic and well-written the characters are. Just getting a peak into Calvin’s life as he traverses the landscape of being a kid is enough to make this comic strip interesting enough to keep readers’ collective attention. That being said, the punchlines are really funny, and these are the 10 best that Calvin and Hobbes fans will never forget.

10 Calvin is Shocked His Mom isn’t Used to His Shenanigans

Calvin and Hobbes, 12-27

Calvin is consistently a little troublemaker, and he's genuinely surprised his mom isn't just used to that by now, especially in this comic. Calvin is casually hammering nails into the coffee table when his mother rushes over to him, screaming, "What are you doing to the coffee table?!?", to which Calvin delivers the hilarious punchline, "Is this some sort of trick question, or what?".

While Calvin is taking his mother's question a bit too literally, expressing sarcastic confusion that she couldn't just see what he's doing, his reply to her also implies that he's shocked she hasn't simply accepted the fact that he's a full-time mischievous scamp. Hammering nails into the coffee table for no reason is as natural for Calvin as coloring is for other six-year-olds. So, when Calvin's mom catches him in the act, does she really even need to ask?

9 “Enmity Sells”: Calvin Explains to Hobbes How to Play a Corrupt System

Calvin and Hobbes, 7-7

Calvin understands the complexities of a system that uses fear to garner for any given cause (primarily political). And in this comic, he decides to use that knowledge to his advantage. Calvin is raising money for a fundraiser, and to do so, he crafts a false narrative of a war on ethics, telling those he's asking for money that if they don't him, then their way of life would be in jeopardy.

When Hobbes criticizes Calvin for his cynicism (especially at such a young age), Calvin simply says, "Enmity sells" before getting back to work. That punchline is utterly hilarious, as everyone has fallen victim to the manufactured narrative of an ethical war crafted by the powers that be at some point in their lives, and Calvin succinctly summarizes that in hysterical fashion.

8 Calvin Doesn’t See the Faults in His Own Character, but Hobbes Does

Calvin and Hobbes, 1-11

Calvin has invented no shortage of imaginary devices that can do any number of impossible things, including one called the Duplicator, which has the power to create perfect clones of anyone who uses it. In this case, Calvin uses the Duplicator to create 'Dupe Calvin', so that his clone can do all the things that Calvin doesn't want to do, like chores and homework.

However, when Dupe Calvin refuses the purpose of his existence and runs off to play instead, Hobbes says, "He's a duplicate of you, all right", before Calvin comes in with the punchline, "What do you mean? This guy is a total jerk!". It seems Calvin is unable to see the faults in his own character, even when they're right out in front of him - but Hobbes can.

7 Not Even Calvin Can Handle His Own Epic Space-Hero Fantasies

Calvin and Hobbes, 9-26

Calvin's imagination truly knows no bounds, as he not only invents amazing devices and manifests his own best friend, but he's also able to transport himself to another world where he is a space-hero called Spaceman Spiff. As Spiff, Calvin can pull off outstanding cosmic feats, from battling hordes of deadly alien invaders, to exploring far-off planets. However, there are times when even he can't handle his own epic fantasies, and this punchline proves it.

While pretending to be Spaceman Spiff flying through space, Calvin is literally on a swing set, make-believing the swing is his spaceship. That is, until the game gets too intense, forcing Calvin to be pulled from his imaginary world and it that "I'm getting sick". Spaceman Spiff gags are always fun in Calvin and Hobbes, and because of the punchline, this one is utterly hilarious.

6 Calvin’s Unique Business Venture is Hilarious (Even if it’s Not Profitable)

Calvin and Hobbes, 7-31

Like most children, Calvin decides to set up a business stand where he's attempting to sell something to make a little extra money. Other kids would usually sell something like lemonade or junk from their garage - indeed, even Lucy from Peanuts set up a stand to sell psychiatric advice. But, Calvin isn't like other kids (or comic strip characters), and the same goes for his stand, where he's selling 'A Swift Kick in the Butt'.

Unsurprisingly, Calvin's business isn't doing so great. Calvin tells Hobbes that he hasn't made a single sale, and he doesn't understand why, because - according to Calvin - "Everybody I know needs what I'm selling!". This is probably the most hysterically relatable punchline in the whole series, which is why it's an obvious standout.

5 Calvin Slowly Realizes He’s Not as Fortunate as He Thought During Recess

Calvin and Hobbes, 5-2

One day during recess, Calvin is ecstatic to see that the swing set is totally available, with not a single kid using or waiting to use the swings. He sprints over to them and jumps on a swing, screaming about how he's never this fortunate during recess. But then, it dawned on him that there may be a reason there were no kids using the swings. Excitement drained from his face, and Calvin realized the terrifying possibility, "I missed the end-of-recess bell again".

It seems Calvin wasn't as fortunate as he thought. While he did get the swings all to himself for a brief, shining moment, he missed the bell to return to class, meaning he inadvertently skipped school, and would assuredly face the consequences. And the moment he figured that out is perfectly captured in this punchline, and it's absolutely priceless.

4 Calvin Hilariously Defends His (Decidedly Disturbing) Art

Calvin and Hobbes, 1-6

When snow falls in Calvin's small town, he entertains himself with winter fun in every conceivable way. Sometimes it's snowball fights, or sledding with Hobbes, and other times it means building snowmen. While Calvin is no stranger to building snowmen and putting them in hilarious positions (mostly in an effort to prank people), this one really takes the cake. Calvin makes a giant 'snow-chicken' who is decapitating a snowman with an ax - and his mother has concerns.

The comic strip is a single , showing Calvin defending his art to his mother, saying, "Oh yeah? Define "well-adjusted"", which is in response to his mom questioning why Calvin would make something like this. This punchline is especially hilarious, as the setup for it is entirely visual and implied, yet still packs the same punch as the funniest Calvin and Hobbes jokes.

3 Calvin Knows He’s a Teacher’s Worst Nightmare

Calvin and Hobbes, 1-27

Calvin is an incredibly smart kid, but he's smart in a way where he uses his intelligence to avoid learning things altogether, while still getting good grades anyway. And during one test, Calvin rubs this in his teacher's face. Calvin gets an answer right without a problem, but then he adds a little note underneath. The note says that he only memorized this fact to get it right on a test, and will forget it soon afterward, criticizing his education system and basically telling his teacher that they failed to actually teach him anything

Then, Calvin brings the joke home with the punchline, "They say the satisfaction of teaching makes up for the lousy pay" after just crushing any satisfaction his teacher could have gotten from Calvin's excellent test score while also pointing out that teachers are woefully underpaid - especially if they have to put up with kids like Calvin.

2 Calvin Understands All Too Well the Motivation Behind Creative Inspiration

Calvin and Hobbes, 5-2

As Calvin is working on writing a story, Hobbes asks him how it's coming. Calvin tells him that he hasn't come up with any good ideas yet because he's waiting for inspiration. Calvin explains that one cannot simply turn creativity on like a faucet, and that he has to be in the right mood for inspiration to strike. Hobbes then asks, "What mood is that?" to which Calvin replies, "Last-minute panic".

Anyone who partakes in creative endeavors understands the power of 'last-minute panic'. The pressure is on, there's no room for distractions or failure, and the creative person is forced to grab inspiration and throw it into whatever they're creating. It's a stressful process, but an exciting one that usually gets results - and this Calvin and Hobbes punchline perfectly captures that in a way any creative person can relate to.

1 Calvin Learns the Wrong Lesson After a Reality-Shattering Debate with His Dad

Calvin and Hobbes, 7-24

In perhaps the most creative Calvin and Hobbes comic strip Bill Watterson ever created, Calvin's entire world has suddenly turned neo-cubist. His reality starts fracturing after a debate with his dad, as Calvin started to see things from his dad's perspective, and that spiraled out of control until he gained the power to see all reality from every perspective all at once. And the only way to fix it is to go back to his narrow-minded views once again.

Calvin delivers the punchline, "You're still wrong, dad", in order to literally save his reality. Of course, the events of the comic take place entirely in Calvin's mind, which means he actively learned the wrong lesson from the debate with his dad. Calvin nearly allowed himself to see things from other people's perspective, but then he decided against it, which is hilariously on-brand for his character and is perfectly captured in this punchline. And that's why this is one of the 10 funniest punchlines in Calvin and Hobbes history.