Bernadette Rostenkowski's arrival to The Big Bang Theory signaled a tonal shift within the show. Along with Penny and Amy, she formed a separate group from the boys, Penny's Posse, providing some much-needed contrast and creating a nice balance that would help the series last for nine more seasons.
Initially sweet and slightly ditzy, Bernadette outgrew her initial characterization, becoming increasingly meaner every season and almost becoming an entirely different character by the show's end. And while she always remained entertaining and hilarious, several of her behaviors have aged rather poorly, especially by 2021 standards.
Her Volatile Parenting Style
Before Halley's arrival, Bernadette makes it clear that she doesn't want any kids. She even lies to her intimidating father to appease his anger, telling him Howard is the one who doesn't want children.
Things change after her first child comes. And while she is a dedicated mother, she also becomes slightly possessive and even more intense than before. Some fans believe that she shouldn't have had children because she never really wanted them and lacked the "maternal" instinct. It's a controversial opinion for sure, but it might have some truth to it, especially when looking back at her very chaotic parenting style.
Her Mistreatment Of Raj And Stuart
Throughout the show, Bernadette becomes more mean-spirited. Nowhere is this shift more evident than in her treatment of her friends, particularly Howard and Stuart. Raj could indeed be an annoying character at times, but he was otherwise harmless. However, Bernadette is often cruel, mocking his excessive sensitivity, feminine behaviors, lack of success in the love department, and close relationship with Cinnamon.
She is similarly dismissive of Stuart's feelings, openly insulting him and constantly making ive-aggressive comments about his prolonged stay in her home.
Her Overall Arrogance
Bernadette has a very high opinion of herself. She is also ridiculously competitive and bossy and refuses to take responsibility for her actions most of the time. This behavior becomes particularly toxic whenever someone tries to tell her she might be wrong, resulting in her lashing out at them.
Because of her high-profile job, Bernadette also earns considerably more than Howard and is one of the best-paid characters in The Big Bang Theory. However, she uses money in her favor, often making snide comments about Howard's low income.
Her Lack Of Personal Boundaries
As previously mentioned, Bernadette is very competitive, to the point of absurdity. During one of The Big Bang Theory's classic episodes, Raj organizes a scavenger hunt, and Bernadette gets paired with Leonard. She manipulates and berates him, even physically hurting him to make sure they win.
Bernadette is also not above stalking others. She convinces Penny to spy on Amy during her date with Dave, revealing that she has a whole kit of spying equipment, including binoculars and a parabolic microphone. She also confesses she used to follow her ex-boyfriends before marrying Howard, revealing a new and disturbing side to her personality.
Her Dynamic With Penny And Amy
When Bernadette and Penny first arrive at the show, they strike a feeble friendship with Penny. As they spend more time with each other, they become closer, eventually forming their own group separate from the guys. Collectively known as "Penny's Posse," the trio has some of the most iconic scenes in The Big Bang Theory, but their dynamic is far from perfect.
Bernadette's overall meanness makes Amy and Penny slightly uncomfortable. During their trip to Disney, she threatens to kick them out of her car unless they let her be Cinderella. Bernadette and Amy often make snarky comments about Penny's presumed alcoholism; on the other hand, Penny and Bernadette often mock Amy's clothes and relationship with Sheldon.
Her Relationship With Howard
Howard and Bernadette's relationship is full of delightful moments. However, their dynamic is also undeniably creepy. Once they start living together, it becomes clear that Bernadette is becoming more and more like Howard's mother. At one point, she even starts talking like her, something the others also find disturbing.
There's also a sense of imbalance in their relationship. Bernadette makes considerably more money than Howard and uses it to her advantage to control the dynamic. She even gives him chores in exchange for an "allowance" and treats him like a child whenever he displeases her. Big Bang uses all these details as a source of comedy, but it becomes clear that these two have a very dysfunctional marriage when the laugh track is removed.
Her Transformation Into A Bully
Out of all the characters in Big Bang, Bernadette is the one who suffers the most extreme change over the seasons. She starts as a sweet Catholic girl but becomes a bonafide bully by the series' end. She bullies her husband, her friends, and even her employees.
The show plays her toxic ways for laughs, but as the seasons go by, her viciousness becomes more and more blatant. Bernadette is also slightly sinister; for example, she claims she got into microbiology because it was "a whole other universe" that she could "wipe out with (her) thumb, like a god." On another occasion, she reveals she often gets hungry by watching flesh-eating bacteria skeletonize small rodents.
Her Awful Leadership Style
Bernadette is a terrible boss. She has no respect for her subordinates, yelling and humiliating them to exercise her authority. Many people in her office actively fear her; in fact, her boss is so terrified of her that he agrees to meet with and later hire Penny because he's too frightened of saying no to Bernadette.
In hindsight, it's unclear how Bernadette wasn't fired from her job. Toxicity in the work environment is a genuine and sensitive issue that many employees endure, and The Big Bang Theory treating it like a source of entertainment is one of the show's most problematic legacies.