Summary

• Fae culture is toxic in A Court of Thorns and Roses, with rampant misogyny and devaluation of women throughout society.
• The mate trope is problematic, portraying men as uncontrollably obsessed once the bond appears, perpetuating patriarchy.
• Illyrian culture in the books is even worse, with horrifying treatment of women who challenge societal norms, including rape and isolation.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I have to confess: I hate Fae culture in Court of Thorns and Roses books. The characters are compelling and their dynamics engaging, the world is a rich and complex one, and the romances are fun. I find them really entertaining and I look forward to each one. Sarah J. Maas has done a great job with building a world that immerses readers, and turned the fandom into one of the most active on BookTok.

Just because I enjoy reading them doesn't mean I don't recognize the significant flaws with the writing, though, such as the ing characters as A Court of Thorns and Roses. It's really hard to juggle all those moving pieces and, like I said, I think the ACOTAR books do a lot of things well. They're not as popular as they are for no reason. But if I'm being honest, there are some real problems with the books, starting with the rampant misogyny of High Fae society.

A Court Of Thorns And Roses' Fae Mate Culture Is Toxic Masculinity Run Wild

The Whole Mating Trope Is Deeply Problematic

Even though the Fae men – sorry, "males" – of the Inner Circle are good guys, as are their allies, they are the exception to the rule, not the rule. I have to be honest: Sarah J. Maas' whole "mate" trope in ACOTAR nettles me. It would be one thing if it were painted as this romantic thing where the woman – sorry, "female" – gets to choose, but it's described in the books as the man going absolutely crazed once the mating bond shows up for him, making him unable to think about anything else other than bedding the target of his mating bond and making her his. That's just gross, and if readers are honest with themselves, I think they'd agree with me.

Sure, one could argue it's a "hate the player, not the game" scenario, and to some extent, it is. Fae men can't control their baser instincts; the books make it seem as though only the strongest-willed and good men can. But the entire concept of the mate is just part and parcel of the way Fae society in the ACOTAR books devalues women. It's just part of society. Mor is treated like little more than a whore by her father, and he's not the only one to hold that view. There was no such thing as a High Lady until Feyre came along. Tamlin locked Feyre up in his paranoia and possessiveness. And once the mating bond snaps into place, it then shifts to the woman making babies as fast as she can. Women, in so many ways, are viewed as objects in High Fae culture.

The entire concept of the mate is just part and parcel of the way Fae society in the ACOTAR books devalues women.

Even Rhysand and his friends are not immune to this. While they can't fight the mating bond, they have each made some dumb mistakes regarding how they treat women. In particular, Rhys' decision to withhold from Feyre that childbirth could kill her was just flat-out wrong. Regardless, Rhys, Cassian, Azriel, and Lucien being such outliers only underscores how messed up and outdated the foundation of Fae culture is, and how it needs to change. It's a toxic patriarchy, through and through – and the special Chosen One status of the Archeron sisters does not change that fact. Again, they are the exceptions, not the rule.

Illyrian Culture In ACOTAR Is Even Worse

It's So Regressive And Backward

As bad as High Fae culture is, I honestly think Illyrian culture in the Court of Thorns and Roses books is even worse. The Fae, specifically Fae males, are the equivalent of "Some men would rather X than go to therapy" meme. The Illyrians make them look like advanced and thoughtful feminists. Once again, it can't be viewed through the lens of just Cassian and Azriel. They believe that women can and should be Illyrian warriors, but they are in the small minority – in fact, it appears in the books that they are the only Illyrian men who hold that progressive view.

The Fae, specifically Fae males, are the equivalent of "Some men would rather X than go to therapy" meme.

It's genuinely horrifying how Illyrians treat women who dare to break free of Illyrian culture's backward and restrictive societal norms. Rape is common and raped Illyrian women have no recourse for justice, and even women in Illyrian society buy into this misogynistic view. Cassian's mother is a perfect example. After an unnamed soldier rapes her and she becomes pregnant with Cassian, she's treated as an outcast. She's forced into a life of hard labor and dies young, and when Cassian returns to ask for her, one of the Illyrian women hints they dumped her body off a cliff rather than give her a proper burial.

It's cruel and nightmarish and not okay. Cassian hints it's also not an uncommon story in their society. While he and Azriel try to change it, especially when they train Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie to be a new kind of Valkyrie, it's an uphill battle. Devlon is the most "fair" Illyrian trainer and he's so repulsed by the fact that Nesta wants to train that he tells Cassian her should be buried afterward since they've been tainted. Of course, he also believes she can't train when she's on her period. Those uncontrollable female emotions, and all. Like I said: gross.

The ACOTAR Books Haven't Done Anything To Acknowledge This In A Meaningful Way

The Books Have To Do More To Acknowledge Their Toxicity

While the books at least acknowledge through the Inner Circle that High Fae and Illyrian cultures are toxic and outdated, I don't think they go far enough. But then, I don't think the cultures need to be written as this regressive and toxic in the first place. Female characters can struggle and show their strength without always pitting them against men. It's tired to constrict their story to the outdated constraints of such toxicity, and the romances to a heterosexual binary that exclusively revolves around becoming a mother. While there's nothing wrong with the latter, it would really be nice to see a romance that doesn't conform to that stereotypical arc.

It's one of the reasons why I'm really hoping for two things. One, I'm hoping that the next ACOTAR book sees Elain's story subverting the whole mate trope and that she finds love on her own . Two, I'm hoping that the arc started in A Court of Thorns and Roses ends with Rhysand and his allies making a pact to change Fae culture for good. If the books don't change this, that doesn't mean I won't be happy with the ending. But it would be great to finish out the books knowing that Prythian will be on its way to evolving for the first time in thousands of years. I believe it's what the characters deserve after fighting so hard to save it.