Larry David, creator and star of borderline intolerable way of interacting with others.
This gruff personality has carried the show through an almost absurd amount of iconic episodes and memorable comedic gems. In his quest to simply live his post-Seinfeld life, the character of Larry David has been responsible for some of the most relatably misanthropic lines ever aired on television.
"I Just, I Can't Stand The Sound Of The Human Voice."
Starting off with a more extreme example of Larry David's general disdain for humanity, he its that the main form of communication for humans is simply not to his liking.
At a party where Jeff and Susie's young daughter performs a song for the guests, Larry can't help himself and tries to end the performance early, reasoning that everyone else at the party must also be begging for it to end. Of course, no one else had thought of kicking a child off stage and Larry ends up looking like he always does.
"Hey Mind Your Business, How About That?"
Being told to smile by a stranger, when you want to do anything but, is always frustrating, but for Larry David, it's pretty much guaranteed to ruin his day.
This is where fans could learn a thing or two from the noted grump, as his response is the perfect way to let the questioner know that it's none of their business if other people are smiling.
"It's A Good Thing For Me, It's A Bad Thing For Water."
At another dinner party fans are probably surprised people keep inviting him to, Larry finds the tap water that the host has served him to be intolerable. Being Larry, he chooses to voice his disdain in front of everyone.
Probably exhausted by Larry's lack of filter, the host voices her annoyance that Jerry doesn't seem to be capable of modulating what he says for different situations and instead chooses to say whatever pops into his head. Larry strikes back with this line, proud that he doesn't need to filter himself, unlike the water.
"The Customer Is Usually A Moron And An A**hole."
In an instance where Larry seems to harness what pretty much everyone who's ever had a job in their lives has wanted to say, he seems to fail to recognize that the customer in question might be himself.
While shopping for his wife Cheryl, Larry gets frustrated by a rude customer ahead of him who seems oblivious to the time they're wasting. This is one of the few Larry moments that is more aspirational than unlikable.
"He Wanted To Stop And Chat With Me."
Larry has a very tight circle of friends, that he doesn't ever really stray from, with some might not even being real friends. Most likely because no one else is willing to put up with him long enough to become friends with him.
This is made clear when an acquaintance of Larry's stops him on the street and tries to spark up a conversation, prompting Larry to continue walking, refusing to take part in a "stop and chat." While rude, this is relatively understandable as very few people want to get stuck in a conversation with a stranger.
"Oh I Hate Myself, But It Has Nothing To Do With Being Jewish."
After being accosted by a man at the movie theater who calls Larry a "self-loathing Jew," because he was whistling Wagner, Larry lets this iconic quote out.
Always willing to self-deprecate, Larry makes it known time and time again that he has no real love for himself, but it's at least comforting to know that it has nothing to do with his religion.
"Prett-Tay, Prett-Tay Good."
This is Larry David's way of expressing his form of happiness with the world. Not a man who feels joy easily, or at all, Larry uses this phrase as his signal that he's doing as alright as he can be.
Since its use in the early seasons of the show, it has grown to become his signature catchphrase.
"I'm Trying To Elevate Small Talk To Medium Talk."
Larry is someone who is seemingly never fully content with just letting a situation play out naturally; he has to intervene in some small way based on his own misconceptions of how life is supposed to work.
While seated next to a stranger, Larry finds himself forcing the conversation into more intimate territory on his quest to elevate the conversation beyond small talk.
"Congratulations At A Great Attempt At A Chat And Cut."
Another one of Larry's general rules of life, he has very strict guidelines for something as simple as a dinner line. When witnessing someone cut the food line at a large dinner gathering, most people would ignore it, but Larry is willing to be the bad guy.
At this moment Larry does what many people wish they had the nerve to, he calls the potential line cutter out. Unlike him, he actually respects the woman's attempt at a "chat and cut," probably because he's been doing it for years.