Empire Records is an essential '90s movie. And, with Broadway News reporting that there is a musical adaptation in the works, there's no better time to re-visit the iconic film that made working in a record store seem like the height of cool.
As well as giving fans the ultimate '90s soundtrack, Empire Records also delivered memorable quotes that lingered in fans' heads long after the closing credits rolled. Carol Heikkinen's script helped to make Empire Records an iconic '90s flick and delivered some highly quotable lines.
"I Thought His Name Was Warren."
When Warren decided to go to Empire Records and lift CDs, he never imagined that he would have to deal with its crazy employees. Not to mention having to repeatedly tell everyone that your name is in fact not Warren.
There is a running gag in the film where Warren, the store’s juvenile shoplifter, constantly claims to anyone who will listen that his name isn’t Warren. When he returns that night with a gun, he attempts to make the employees listen. What follows is a chaotic repeating of “his name isn’t Warren,” but it’s the last remark from Mark that adds to the hilarious running joke and makes the scene memorable.
"Well, Sinead O'Rebellion. Shock Me, Shock Me, Shock Me With That Deviant Behavior!"
No matter what the situation is, Empire Records has a quote for it. One of the most relatable lines in the film is spoken by Gina early on.
Gina’s response to Debra shaving her head is an absolute gem and perfect for any situation when confronted by someone’s shocking behavior. The exchange afterward comes off as somewhat hateful with the two women insulting one another’s appearances but its conclusion with Gina saying “it’s a wonderful look on you,” turns the scene around.
"Welcome To Music Town, May I Service You?"
The thing that made Empire Records so special to the characters - and to fans - was that it was home. When Corey didn’t have a shift until the afternoon, she still came in bright and early to hang out with her friends. When it's revealed that the store may cease to exist and turn into a chain, it comes as a devastating blow to all of them.
With Music Town comes rules that don’t fit into the essence of Empire Records like the “no revealing clothing” rule. In an attempt to display her disapproval, Gina decides to come out dressed only in a Music Town apron. She struts around making jokes but the timing is wrong; Rex Manning appears. Gina may not be among Renée Zellweger's best film roles, but she does deliver this memorable greeting perfectly.
"We Mustn't Dwell, No Not Today. We Can't. Not On Rex Manning Day."
Empire Records is the quintessential 90s comedy movie for many reasons. It is also one of the few movies to create its own official day of the year; Rex Manning Day.
The film takes place over the course of 24 hours - the day Rex Manning, an 80s music icon, is coming to the store to promote his new record. When the staff gets the troubling news about the record store's possible closure, spirits are broken. So who better to try to lighten the mood than Empire Records' quirky employee Mark. He expresses the line and gives us the perfect tagline to tweet every April 8th.
"I'm Either Going To Jail Or Hell. I Can't Decide."
There are a lot of memorable quotes throughout Empire Records. One of the best, and one that sometimes goes under the radar, is a line from viewers' favorite record store manager, Joe.
Joe is having a bad day. He is continuously getting problems thrown at him, from Lucas stealing the store’s money to having to deal with shoplifter Warren. He doesn’t always know what to do which makes his line at the end even more memorable. When Jane comes back from quitting and asks Joe what his plans are for the night, Joe answers with this relatable line.
"Always Play With Their Minds."
Another great line from Lucas comes right before the hilarious chase scene between him and Warren. The conversation between Lucas and Mark over the naming of his future band is perfectly written.
When Lucas asks Mark how he should spell his name, Mark checks his own name tag. It’s a silly moment that plays into Mark's characterization as a stoner. His reaction, as if the obvious piece of information had totally slipped his mind, is priceless. Lucas' advice to “always play with their minds” re-inforces this moment of silliness and solidifies how close the whole staff is to each other.
"I Went To Rock And Roll Heaven, And I Wasn't On The Guest List."
Debra is one of the best characters in Empire Records and one of the most memorable characters in any '90s teen movie. She's the quintessential rebellious teen with an attitude. She shaves her head in the first few moments on screen, highlighting her rebellious nature, but Debra is also a character that everyone cares about.
When A.J. notices her bandaged wrists, he’s quick to ask what’s going on. Her response is tragic and makes her character even more memorable. Although it is never revealed as to why exactly Debra tried to take her own life with a Lady Bic, the way she answers A.J. makes the reason irrelevant.
"I Talked To God, And She Says, 'Yo, Wassup?'"
Warren is back but he’s not empty-handed. As the gang mourns Debra during her fake funeral, Warren comes wielding a gun and starts shooting up the place. While A.J does his best to calm the situation, it's Debra who saves the day.
Debra is unafraid, she’s been to rock and roll heaven after all. She walks to Warren and expresses that she just wants to talk to him. When Warren tells her to speak to his gun, that’s exactly what she does. After the hilarious “His name isn’t Warren” bit, the audience gets another memorable line from Debra as she spills the beans about meeting God.
"I Don't Feel That I Need To Explain My Art To You."
A true artist can see art in anything and create something out of nothing. Whether it's hair in the sink or quarters from Lucas' trip to Atlantic City, A.J is ready to glue it down for his art. It’s this second piece of artwork that gives Empire one of its most memorable lines.
When Lucas returns from Atlantic City empty-handed, it angers Joe and makes him dump the tin full of quarters out of Lucas’s hands. After A.J. creates his new art piece on the floor, Warren, who is waiting to be picked up by the police, tries and fails to lift the quarters. When he asks A.J. why he did it, it makes A.J answer with the ultimate quote for any creative person to relate to.
"Who Knows Where Thoughts Come From? They Just Appear."
Lucas gives fans some of the best philosophical one-liners. He’s the cool guy with a turtleneck who pops in and out of every scene with something insightful to say.
After Lucas gambles all the money away, he returns to Empire Records and is confronted by Joe. He questions Lucas where the money is thus giving the audience a great back and forth conversation worth repeating. When Lucas says everything will work out, it prompts Joe to ask how he knows that which gets Lucas to respond with yet another philosophical musing. What makes this line so great is that Empire Records delivers quotes that summarise each character's personality and this is one of those moments for Lucas.
"Damn The Man, Save The Empire."
There are lots of memorable quotes from iconic teen movies that would make great t-shirts. From Empire Records, it's the masterpiece line that is “Damn the man, save the Empire” that would sell the best.
Empire Records is in trouble of turning into the chain Music Town. Throughout the film, whenever Joe brings up the man - in this case, Music Town - it leads to Lucas expressing, “Damn the man.” Finally, as night falls, while a news reporter delivers a segment on Warren holding the store hostage, Mark takes the opportunity to exaggerate it even further adding the plea, “Save the Empire.” It's the perfect quotable moment for whenever the man is getting fans down.
