The bad boy of Stars Hollow was the source of plenty for Gilmore Girls' viewers to discuss. Sometimes it was regarding Rory, while other times it was about his troublemaker ways and why he just couldn't leave Dean Forester alone.
Whether you love him, hate him, or love to hate him, the character of Jess Mariano is a household name, in the world of four-part Netflix revival, for a total of just 39 episodes, and it’s hard to say whether he got a complete arc by the end of his final scene. Even more difficult to figure out is if his character’s path had any logic ing it. Here are ten things that make no sense about Jess Mariano.
Why He Never Told The Truth About The Swan Incident
It’s unlikely that many people would want to freely it to getting beaked in the eye by a swan. But when the alternative is your current girlfriend thinking you were too busy fighting it out with her ex-first love to attend a meet-the-grandparents dinner, embarrassment is the least of your woes.
Nevertheless, Jess remained stoic in the face of the attack, choosing instead to fight with Rory over the non-fight between him and Dean to avoid looking stupid, leaving viewers to wonder… why couldn’t he just tell her the truth, and why couldn’t Rory just accept his answer at face value in the first place?
His Dedication To Wal-Mart
Like his uncle before him, Jess isn't a slacker—so a good work ethic doesn’t come as a total surprise. What’s shocking, however, is the price he allowed receiving the title of Wal-Mart’s “Mr. Reliable” to cost him. There’s something about Jess ditching school to drive a forklift that doesn’t quite gel with the book lover, who is possibly too smart for his own good.
Whether the motivator was money or simple boredom, this choice remains an interesting one, even if viewers are unlikely to forget the sight of Luke’s face during the staff meeting in which Jess was chosen as Employee of the Month.
His Relationship With Shane
Watching Jess use his fling with Shane—a local girl whose last name he hadn’t learned—to get under a still-taken Rory’s skin was painful enough. The real heartbreak came, however, when Jess’ carefully crafted, unbothered façade started to crack in front of a questioning Luke, and he proclaimed that the girls he liked didn’t “give a damn” about him.
Troubled or not, it’s still hard to believe that someone who first seemed to be so far above teenage drama would stoop low enough to make the true object of his affection jealous. Luckily, fans didn’t have to suffer for too long before he came to his senses.
His Relationship With Liz
Liz Danes, Luke’s carefree younger sister, is kindhearted but often neglectful of her only son. Therefore, it’s not surprising that Jess would adopt a disaffected attitude around his mom. If the show had just explored a little more of the impact her detachment had on him, perhaps we would have better understood the real dynamic between them, instead of being forced to accept their few minutes of shared screen time at face value.
At the very least, though, Jess showed he was still someone Liz could count on, walking her down the aisle when she got married in the show's fourth season. It's difficult to say if the moment felt truly earned, but it's unlikely to be forgotten.
His Hatred For School
Much like his decision to work full time before he was even old enough to vote, more confusing is Jess’s outright aversion to the classroom. Witty and articulate, it’s not a stretch to think that a classroom would be a great place for someone like Jess, the perfect environment to nurture his keen mind.
Maybe there was too little challenge for him to feel a true sense of fulfillment, but it doesn’t change that writing him as eventually flunking out because he missed too many classes, thereby depriving him of a full education, was a disservice to his character. Not to mention, it resulted in many missed opportunities for study sessions with fellow Stars Hollow High student, Lane Kim.
His Eternal Flame For Rory
Cute as they are, it’s not hard to see that Jess and Rory’s dynamic is complicated at best. Despite the natural connection and numerous common interests shared between them, it’s clear that there’s something that keeps them back from one another, whether it's Rory’s fickle-minded nature or Jess's struggles with being open and honest.
Their constant back and forth then becomes tiring, not alluring, and only serves as a source of frustration when Jess is shown to still have interest in Rory, even years later. While there’s something to be said for the slow burn, when it comes to these two, it just doesn’t feel worth it.
His Career Path
Waiter, forklift operator, high school dropout…novelist? Everyone jumps around when they’re young and trying to find themselves, but as we never got to truly know Jess beyond a bit of what makes him tick, the sixth season surprise that he had written a book seems to come out of nowhere.
Though a nice nod to his younger days, it’s difficult to understand what being a published writer means for Jess—especially when the plot of his work is never revealed. To give the writers a little credit, this isn’t a total waste, as Jess is eventually revealed to be working for Truncheon Books the next time we see him. Still, a little bit more insight into how he’d gotten there would’ve been helpful.
His Absence From Luke And Lorelai's Ceremony
In a sequence fit for the dreamiest of fantasy films, Luke Danes and Lorelai Gilmore solidify their commitment to one another in the famous town gazebo, surrounded by those who are closest to them. As Luke is the closest thing to a parent that Jess has ever had, it seemed a given that his name should have been at the top of the list.
But sadly, Jess is nowhere to be found, and no amount of explaining can lessen the disappointment. They might not be legally married yet, but it doesn’t change the fact that Jess would have been there for his uncle—and Luke would have wanted him there, too.
His Escape To Venice
When Jess decided that he would leave Stars Hollow for Venice, California to seek out his birth father, it’s unlikely that the people in his inner circle expected him to leave without even saying goodbye.
Worst of all, when he finally does muster up the courage to call Rory at a later date, he doesn’t even say anything. Leaving the way he did, and the way he acted after, he was made to look like the kind of person who doesn’t care at all. Not great behavior from the sweet guy who'd once calculated the distance between Rory’s dream school and the town where he was living.
His Inability To Open Up
Being that these two got on so well in the beginning, it seemed a safe assumption that Jess would at least tell Rory anything. Perhaps true to form, though, he remained unpredictable and took the opposite route, leaving her, and everyone, in the dark about getting kicked out of school, his biological father, and everything else going on his life and his mind.
Coming from a neglectful mother and a completely absent father, it's not a shock that Jess would have trouble communicating at all, let alone while in a relationship with anyone. But it doesn't take away the sting of later watching him physically struggle to say (or not say) the words I love you, knowing that he had them inside.