A Broadway hit from its premiere in January of 2015, Lin-Manuel Miranda's historical musical lyrical genius, and based on some of the lines, he has a pretty great sense of humor too.
Two characters that are never short on wise-cracks are Alexander Hamilton and his political nemesis, Thomas Jefferson. Let's take a look at a list of five of the sassiest lines from Alexander, along with the five from Jefferson.
Hamilton: "If You Stand For Nothing, Burr, What Will You Fall For?" (Aaron Burr, Sir)
Full quote: "Burr, the revolution's imminent, to what do you stall for"
Burr's advice to "talk less, smile more" does not sit well with a young and eager Alexander. A believer in making his political beliefs known, the argumentative young Founding Father can't help but challenge his future friend and enemy. It is a quote that speaks volumes about Alexander's personality and beliefs.
Jefferson: "Don't Act Surprised, You Guys, 'Cause I Wrote 'Em!" (Cabinet Battle #1)
Full Quote: "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness We fought for these ideals, we shouldn't settle for less. These are wise words, enterprising men quote 'em. Don't act surprised, you guys, 'cause I wrote 'em!"
Though the entire show is full of nimble wordplay, the cabinet meetings that take place in the form of heated rap battles are a primary source for some of the show's sassiest moments.
Jefferson does not disappoint in the opening to "Cabinet Battle #1," when he introduces himself with a brag about his resume in regards to the founding of the United States.
Hamilton: "Is He In Jersey?" (Farmer, Refuted)
Full quote: "I pray the king shows you his mercy."
"Is he in Jersey?"
"The Farmer Refuted" was published by Alexander Hamilton and is the work that inspired this amusing little head-to-head a British Loyalist. Alexander spends the song making little jabs at the man for his insistence on loyalty to the King. He can't help but comment when Seabury implies that the King will be able to punish him for his insolence from an ocean away.
Jefferson: "He's Never Gonna Be President Now" (The Reynolds Pamphlet)
Full quote: "Well, he's never gon' be President now (never gon' be President now). That's one less thing to worry about (that's one less thing to worry about)."
What's more full of sass than Jefferson literally dancing around and throwing letters in the air while Hamilton looks on in shame? Upon finding out about Alexander's damning affair, Jefferson can hardly contain his happiness at finally having enough dirt on his political rival to ensure that Alexander couldn't possibly be voted in as president.
Hamilton: "Should We Honor Our Treaty, King Louis' Head?" (Cabinet Battle #2)
Full quote: "Should we honor our treaty, King Louis' head? Uh, do whatever you want. I'm super dead."
In "Cabinet Battle #2," Jefferson tries to use Hamilton's prior friendship with Marquis de Lafayette to guilt him into seeing things his way, but Alexander is having none of it.
Always loud and energetic, Hamilton tells Jefferson exactly why he doesn't think it's necessary to honor a treaty with a dead king. (Hint: It's because he's "super dead"!)
Jefferson: "Uh... ?" (What'd I Miss?)
Full quote: "I've been fighting for the South alone. Where have you been?"
"Uh... ?"
Jefferson returns from and needs to catch up on the current political climate following the end of the war. Madison is there to tell Jefferson exactly how "terrible" Hamilton has been for the present government. When he asks Jefferson where he's been, Daveed Diggs delivers the hilarious and obvious, "Uh, ?" line.
Hamilton: "I Practiced Law, Burr Worked Next Door" (Non-Stop)
Full quote: "I finished up my studies and I practiced law."
"I practiced law, Burr worked next door."
Spirits are up after the end of the war, and with it comes their sense of humor. Free to build their lives back to some sense of normalcy, Hamilton and Burr pursue their careers outside of the military. This allows Hamilton to return to his sass when it comes to his abilities as a lawyer, delivering this memorable quote in the process.
Jefferson: "At Least They Know I Know Where Is!" (The Election Of 1800)
Full quote: "And they say I’m a Francophile. At least they know I know where is!"
Alexander spends the play poking fun of Jefferson for all of the time that he spent in rather than fighting in the war. However, the remarks definitely do not go over Jefferson's head.
In petty insult.
Hamilton: "Yeah, Keep Ranting. We Know Who's Really Doing The Planting" (Cabinet Battle #1)
Full quote: "A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey neighbor, your debts are paid 'cause you don't pay for labor. 'We plant seeds in the South. We create.' Yeah, keep ranting. We know who's really doing the planting."
The first "Cabinet Battle" is just one burn after another. When Jefferson boasts about the South, Hamilton doesn't hesitate to call him out on his hypocrisy of taking credit for the financial success of a land run primarily by slave labor. Infuriated, Hamilton quickly takes it a step further and chides Jefferson for lecturing him about a war he didn't fight in while he was "off getting high with the French."
Jefferson: "And If Ya Don't Know, Now Ya Know, Mr. President" (Cabinet Battle #2)
Full quote: "He knows nothing of loyalty. Smells like new money, dresses like fake royalty. Desperate to rise above his station. Everything he does betrays the ideals of our nation. Hey, and if ya don't know, now ya know, Mr. President."
While Hamilton gets a lot of shots in, audiences should not feel too bad for Jefferson. Inspired by Notorious B.I.G's "Juicy," Jefferson gives back as good as he gets, and he has no problem absolutely dragging Alexander for his desire for riches, political power, and the finer things in life. The show might be called Hamilton, but Jefferson still gets many great and sassy quotes.