How I Met Your Mother was billed as a grand love story, told in reverse. Nine years of a love story, told by an unreliable narrator, Ted Mosby. Just like everyone else in the world, Teddy Westside’s not the saint he believes himself to be of even remotely the hero of his own story.
Ted’s just a guy trying to find his soulmate, like anyone else in the world. But he wasn’t always nice about it. Here are 10 things about Ted that would never fly today.
Cheated On Victoria
A lot of what Ted does wouldn’t just never fly today, it would never fly ever, period. Once Robin turned him down, Ted seemingly found instant happiness with Victoria. But when the relationship turned long distance, Ted started getting antsy and worried that things were going south. But instead of confronting the issue head-on and talking to her about it, he thought it would be a good idea to head to Robin’s late night. They share a kiss before Ted breaks it off with Victoria.
Constantly Pressured Robin
From the moment he first laid eyes on Robin, she was all he ever wanted. The guy would do all things that would be illegal anywhere but Sitcomland to win over Robin’s heart. But he also kept pushing the idea of a relationship right down her throat.
First he declared his love for her from their very first date. Lastly, he basically broke into her home with an entire orchestra to get a date out of the girl. Teddy Westside can’t seem to take a hint.
The Wild Stories He Told His Kids
The entire show is one big flashback. An adult Ted is telling his two kids the grandiose story of he met their mother. It’s filled with all kinds of twists and turns and many superfluous stories that have nothing to do with Ted eventually meeting Tracy. But Ted also thought it was a good idea to tell his kids every sordid detail. All of the women he and Barney booked up with, all of the “sandwiches” that they ate, and ever dirty detail. You think he could have left some of the grosser details out when telling his kids about his grand love story.
Can’t A Girl He Dated
It made for a pretty funny concept and episode - in “Double Date,” he meets a girl named Jen. They seem to hit it off, but both of them quickly realize that they’ve not only met years before, they’ve been on the same date before! Again, funny concept for a sitcom, but to completely forget someone in real life is horrible.
Called Lily A Horrible Word
When Marshall to head to San Francisco, she left the Marshmallow in complete shambles. Shambles that Ted had to painstakingly put back together as any good friend would. He also referred to Lily as a “Grinch,” and let his kids know that he definitely didn’t use the word “Grinch.”
He used a word that certainly too risqué (and funnier) to not mention on TV. In fact he used a horrible word to describe his supposed other best friend several times during that particular episode.
Lived Like Barney For A Night
As he was trying to live life after breaking up with Robin, Barney had convinced Ted to live like there was “No Tomorrow.” That meant being a complete cad to anyone and everyone he met. In one night alone, he hits on woman with the sole intention of having a one night stand, kissed a married woman, and buys alcohol on a complete stranger’s tab. To add insult to injury, he kept “butt-dialing” Marshall who heard every sordid detail and had to yell at Ted to set him straight.
Caused Victoria To Leave Her Fiancé; Won’t End Friendship With Robin
Out of all the women Ted met over the years, there was a certain chemistry between he and Victoria. When he finally saw her again, she had a fiancé. Ted was well behaved the first time. But the second time he saw her after so many years, she had called him and met him at the bar in her wedding dress. Teddy did all he could to do the right thing and actually drive her to the altar. He decided to be selfish instead and kept driving off into the sunset with her. Despite their chemistry, she was never able to shake the fact that Ted wanted Robin and when he wouldn’t end their friendship, she finally was able to leave Ted forever.
Makes Robin Get Rid Of Her Dogs
Early on in the series, Robin had five dogs. But once she started dating Ted, he forced Robin to get rid of them. Pets. Family. Nope, none of these things meant a thing to Ted once he realized they all came as gifts from ex-boyfriends. Meanwhile, just about 99 percent of all Ted’s belongings came from his exes.
Broke Up With A Girl Via Voicemail, On Her Birthday
One early episode, Ted had tried to get back together with a fairly nice ex, Natalie. As it turns out, he dumped the poor girl via voicemail and on her birthday, oh and all her friends were at her home hearing the voicemail getting ready for a surprise party!
If that wasn’t bad enough, the sad sack convinced her to give him a second chance and what did ol’ Shmosby do? The exact same thing! At least this time, it was face to face, allowing Natalie to punch Teddy square in his.
Asked Kids Permission To Date Robin
