There are many things in Barney and Robin getting together is on the top of that list. Any HIMYM fan would guess that their romantic relationship was doomed to fail. To be fair, things never got nasty between the two of them - they got together, got married, and eventually divorced and stayed friends, even after everything that happened.
But there were many unhealthy patterns in their relationship which indicated that they weren’t meant to be with each other. Though they cared deeply for each other, there are many things that happened in their relationship that would never be acceptable in today's dating culture.
When The Gang Knew About Barney’s Feelings Before Robin
It’s always complicated dating someone in your friend circle, but things get substantially weirder and uncomfortable when all your friends know that someone has a crush on you, but you don’t.
Barney had feelings for Robin and wanted to be with her, but instead of coming clean to her about it, he told everybody except Robin. So, Ted, Marshall and Lily everyone were aware of the secret. Though Robin wasn't all that uncomfortable about it, any millennial today would not be okay with this, especially since there are so many ways you can reach out and express your interest.
The Inane Mind Games
The dating spectrum has changed hugely in the last decade. Twenty-somethings now prefer to keep things simple and honest and want transparency in their relationships. But Robin and Barney relied on a complex cornucopia of mind games and denial before they could talk it out with each other.
This is very telling and it indicates that they were too self-absorbed to ever prioritize each other. Both Lily and Barney relentlessly tried to keep each other in the dark about how they really felt.
Their Friends Had Too Much Sway On Their Relationship
Despite the fact that the gang was really closely knit and shared everything with each other, it never works out for a couple if their close friends are privy to each and every detail of their dynamic. Lily, Marshall and Ted had too much involvement in Barney and Robin's relationship. This was not deliberate and they probably didn’t realize how toxic it was, but it was evident to any viewer.
But what’s messed up is that Barney and Robin never stood up to them or drew boundaries. when Lily locked them in a room just so they could talk? It’s just unhealthy and would be unthinkable today.
Barney Got Upset When Robin Slept With Anyone Else
Before Robin and Barney started seeing each other, Barney took a lot of time trying to build up the courage to actually talk to Robin about his feelings. But till then he did everything in his power to stop Robin from getting intimate with anyone, be it Ted’s assistant PJ or anyone else.
In the show, this was depicted as something cute, but in reality, this is really toxic behavior. Baney is not entitled to make decisions for Robin or manipulate her love life, especially since she wasn’t even aware of how Barney felt.
Barney Taking Lessons From Ted To Please Robin
No one wants their ex to be intimately involved with their current relationship, irrespective of how decent they are. Sure, Ted, Barney and Robin are really close friends, but Barney asking Ted to make Robin fall for him is just weird and inappropriate on so many levels.
There are many things about modern dating culture that Ted and Robin’s relationship had many issues, as well, and Barney shouldn’t ideally follow his advice.
Barney Discussing His Sexual Conquests In Front of Robin
No one would be okay with their ex boasting about their sex life after their breakup, especially today when millennials and Gen-Z are often more open to discussions with their exes and want to grow from each relationship.
It should have been obvious to Barney that Robin would be uncomfortable hearing about his sex life post their breakup, since he cared a lot about her. Moreover, it’s odd how her friends wouldn’t immediately ask Barney to stop doing so, irrespective of Robin’s mental state.
Barney Trying To Destroy Robin’s Relationship With Don
Something like this today would earn Barney a very angry Twitter thread, but then again, so would most of his actions. When Robin had just begun to move on from her breakup from Barney and was in a happy relationship with Don, Barney pulled all strings to break them up, just because he realized he still had feelings for her.
It was selfish and very toxic and also baffling that Barney would be so immature. To make things worse, he manipulated Ted to ing him in destroying Robin and Don’s relationship.
They Hid Their Affair From Their Partners
Robin and Barney often put their own interests above anyone else’s and aren’t exactly the ideal partners. When Barney is in a relationship with Barney and Robin is dating Kevin, they both realize that they are not over each other.
Instead of coming clean to their respective partners, they secretly hook up and promise to ends things with Nora and Kevin. But Robin ditches that plan and keeps Kevin in the dark, and Barney does the same with Nora. There is a complete lack of ability between them, and this is something the show never really fully acknowledged.
When Robin Tried To Break Nora And Barney Up
There have been so many times that Barney and Robin have been purely selfish, just because they were being insecure or had personal hang-ups. Like when Robin tried to break up Barney and Nora in season 7 just because she sees Barney showering Nora with attention and gifts, and actually hires someone to disrupt their date.
This is not just toxic behavior but also proves that Barney and Robin’s relationship was largely fueled by ego and personal anxieties. They used each other to feel better about themselves, without thinking about each other’s happiness and that’s messed up.
The Playbook
Barney’s playbook was singularly the most disturbing thing to have existed on the show. The fact that Robin would agree to date Barney after being made aware of its existence is unthinkable and any woman today would treat it like a major red flag.
The playbook’s last chapter was called "Robin," as Barney promised that it would be his last play and he would destroy the book since he wouldn’t need it. But Robin finds out that he still has the book. This alone should be a major reason for her to dump him.