This article contains discussions of domestic violence, gaslighting, and rape.

MAJOR SPOILERS for It Ends With Us are ahead!

Summary

• Lily's "Unreliable Narrator" ission in the movie adaptation of It Ends With Us acknowledges a major character debate rising since the novel's resurgence.
• The movie includes self-aware moments through subtle humor, nodding to discussions surrounding Colleen Hoover's characters' names and narrators.
• Despite the debate over Lily's reliability as a narrator, the focus should remain on the important message of surviving abuse and breaking the cycle.

Lily’s unreliable narrator line in the movie adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s controversial 2016 book, but it took many steps to fix the problematic and questionable elements from the source material.

In addition to changing the It Ends With Us book for the better, the movie included two humorous, subtle meta moments early on that show self-awareness. The first moment occured when Lily made fun of Ryle’s name, alluding to the conversation surrounding Colleen Hoover's characters' names. The second moment of self-awareness came when Lily told Ryle, “I’m not sure. I’m an unreliable narrator,” in response to his question about how far she’d go with a stranger. The line alludes to a debate that has existed among readers for at least a few years.

Lily's "Unreliable Narrator" ission Calls Back To A Big It Ends With Us Debate

Many Fans Of The Book Have Debated The Accuracy Of Lily's Perspective

After Colleen Hoover’s book became big, readers started debating the reliability of Lily’s of events. Some people felt Ryle’s actions weren’t as horrible as she made them out to be. Others think Lily missed the red flags in Ryle and romanticized his behavior. Lily calling herself an “unreliable narrator” early on in the movie adaptation seems like a nod to the It Ends With Us character debate. It’s worth noting, though, that both of these arguments come across as victim-blaming when approached from a place of judgment instead of curiosity.

A victim doesn’t need to be perfect to deserve empathy.

Jealousy didn’t give Ryle an excuse to abuse Lily, so his actions were as bad as she made them out to be. Moreover, Lily missing and/or romanticizing Ryle’s red flags didn’t make her at fault. She was raised in an abusive household, which normalized domestic violence. Instead, Lily’s flaws as a narrator made her human, not responsible. A victim doesn’t need to be perfect to deserve empathy.

Plus, Lily experienced gaslighting at the hands of her ab in both the Colleen Hoover books and the movie adaptation of It Ends With Us, making it so she was questioning her of events alongside the readers. As such, the audience questioning her reliability should allow them to empathize with her more, not less.

The "Unreliable Narrator" Point Doesn't Change Lily's Trauma

Lily's Trauma Is Valid Even If She's Not The Most Reliable Narrator

While the question of a narrator’s reliability is interesting, judgments on the matter can distract from the bigger messages and themes in It Ends With Us. No matter how she viewed the situation, the objective fact is that Lily was abused at the hands of her husband. She was backhanded, pushed down the stairs, bitten, and nearly raped. Those experiences are all severely traumatizing.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, it is not your fault and help is available. Please call the domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org.

Additionally, the only person responsible for Ryle's abuse was Ryle. Her strength in surviving, leaving, and making a better life for her daughter should be commended, no matter how her biases influenced her perspective. Her choice to raise Emerson alone in the movie adaptation of It Ends With Us prevented her daughter from witnessing or experiencing abuse at the hands of her father.