Disney's latest big-ticket adventure movie, played by a fantastic cast. Jungle Cruise boasts names like Emily Blunt and Dwayne Johnson, and the actors have depicted these adventure-loving characters with aplomb.
Although the movie has enough magic and mystique by itself, it's quite intriguing to imagine how these characters would fit into the famed four houses of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Their personalities are nuanced enough to have traits that evoke more than one of the houses, but they sort into the Wizarding World and its house system quite well.
Aguirre - Slytherin
Aguirre was a villainous man, but that's not why he would be sorted into Slytherin. His most dominant Slytherin traits are resourcefulness and determination, followed by all the rest. When his daughter fell sick, he was smart enough to seek out a cure beyond anyone's imaginations, and he even got extremely close to it.
His cunning and deception, coupled with paternal love made him slay an entire tribe of people - those who had revived and nurtured him, because they refused him the Arrowhead. He contained multitudes, much like the serpentine house which had its fair share of good and evil witches.
Frank Wolff - Gryffindor
The jolly skipper has leanings towards two houses, namely Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, but the leonine side of Frank Wolff wins. It was clear that Francisco enjoyed a quest for knowledge - he was a cartographer and had gathered enough wisdom through the years, but the action that sealed his fate was when he valiantly protected the Chief's daughter against Aguirre, who was like his own brother, which makes him most like a Gryffindor.
Besides this, he showed immense bravery every time he fought with the Houghtons, willingly sacrificing himself (even though he was technically immortal) to protect Lily. Frank was a daring man, who lived in the perilous Amazonian forest and even made friends with wild cats.
Lily Houghton - Ravenclaw
A perfect embodiment of the Ravenclaw principles, Lily Houghton possessed almost every quality that the of the blue house had. She had a PhD in Botany, and was doggedly continued to pursue her career in academia, even though women weren't considered qualified enough to have a place at the table in 1916.
Lily's quest to find the Tears Of The Moon wasn't to gain power, but to help the world against disease. She used her intelligence for the greater good, and did so with the cutting wit and street smartness of a Ravenclaw - her epic tussle in the library remains a highlight of the movie. She was easily the smartest character in Jungle Cruise.
MacGregor Houghton - Hufflepuff
Cheerful and friendly, MacGregor's good nature and his accepting ways placed him firmly in Hufflepuff. He had a troubled past, but he had accepted himself and also embraced the differences in others, like with the Puka Michuna. He even immersed himself in their way of living for the short time he spent with them.
MacGregor was patient and fair in his dealings, but his most Hufflepuff-like quality was loyalty. When society eschewed him, his sister stood by his side. For this, he vowed to be loyal to her forever, even when she was being incredibly difficult and temperamental. Against his better judgement, MacGregor followed her into an extremely uncomfortable journey because he couldn't leave Lily alone.
Nilo Nemolata - Slytherin
Behind the hilarious quips and charming Italian accent, Nilo Nemolata was a shrewd businessman who had gotten ahead because of his cunning and exacting nature. Similar to a Slytherin, he was also a very proud man - proud of the little empire he had made out of river adventures, and that he had almost full control over the guided tour business in Porto Velho.
His sense of self-preservation made him go to great lengths to stay at the top of his game, and he was not above stealing back engines from Frank's boat when the skipper couldn't repay his loan with interest.
Proxima - Gryffindor
Frank's pet jaguar did as she pleased, and often put up pointless heroics, which are sometimes characteristic of the scarlet and gold house. Gryffindors are known to be bold and brave, and Proxima had both the traits in spades.
She was extremely loyal to Frank, and created huge scenes like the one in the diner on demand. While the big cat obviously enjoyed the theatrics, it also took courage to enter a town full of violent humans and mess with them. Gryffindors also tend to get reckless at times, just like Proxima did when she chose to lick up an entire bottle of wine under the decks.
Prince Joachim - Slytherin
Prince Joachim of German descent was inarguably a Slytherin. The man looked harmless, but his ambitions of world domination were dangerous and unchecked. He had the resources he needed to carry out a destructive expedition, and nothing could come in the way of his quest for power - not even people's lives.
Joachim's merciless personality came to the fore right at the beginning of the movie, when he let go of the ladder that Lily was hanging off of with no regard for her life. He double-crossed his own allies, since deception was second nature to the Slytherin-like Prince.
Trader Sam - Ravenclaw
The leader of the Puka Michuna held the huge responsibility of the whole tribe, and as the "head salesman of the jungle" she also brokered deals with Frank for money and things to keep the tribe going. Historically, Trader Sam has been a sort of immortal character who appears in many places.
It takes vast amounts of intelligence and skill to lead a tribe, and make decisions for their well-being, both of which Sam possessed. Like a Ravenclaw, she made smart choices based on logic, and didn't involve herself or her people in battles that weren't theirs to fight.
