Summary

  • The "East/West College Bowl" sketch in Key & Peele features gradually more outlandish and absurd football player names, making it one of their best sketches.
  • The sketch showcases Key & Peele's comedic range and ability to deliver many hilarious characters in a short amount of time.
  • The sequel sketch maintains the original's formula with even more ridiculous names, including the addition of actor Benedict Cumberbatch's name, proving the concept's enduring hilarity.

The Key & Peele classic "East/West Bowl" sketch is memorably hilarious for its outlandish football names. Key & Peele is a sketch show that paired Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele, with the duo proving perfect comic partners. The series debuted in 2012 and ran for five seasons and each episode could be relied upon to deliver at least one fantastic sketch. Skits could range from goofy movie or TV parodies to searing political commentary, and the show always gave the titular comics a chance to show off their comedic range.

Jordan Peele has emerged as one of the most exciting new filmmakers with his Oscar-winning horror movie Get Out and the most recent Nope. Meanwhile, Keegan-Michael Key has remained busy with roles in movies like The Bubble and shows like Reboot. However, their work together on Key & Peele remains a highlight of both of their careers. Any fan of Key & Peele will have their personal favorite sketches from the show, and some classics include “Ray Parker Jr. Theme Songs,” "Continental Breakfast," "Aerobics Meltdown" and "Text Message Confusion." However, "East/West Bowl" remains their crowing achievement.

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East/West Bowl 1

The Original Hilarious Names

Keegan-Michael Key dressed as fake football player Jackmerius Tacktherittix in Key & Peele

The Key & Peele football names sketch, known as "East/West Bowl," takes a setup most football fans will be familiar with as the two opposing teams introduce their roster before the game. However, as the names of college football players are read out, they become gradually more outlandish and absurd. This became one of the first viral hits for Key & Peele, and it also gave Key and Peele yet another chance to show off a dizzying array of characters — and wigs — in a very short space of time. Here's a list of every name mentioned in the sketch.

Team

Player Name

East Team

D’Marcus Williums

East Team

T.J. Juckson

East Team

T’Variuness King

East Team

Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace

East Team

D’Squarius Green, Jr.

East Team

Ibrahim Moizoos

East Team

Jackmerius Tacktheratrix

East Team

D’Isiah T. Billings-Clyde

East Team

D’Jasper Probincrux III

East Team

Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz

East Team

Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar

East Team

Davoin Shower-Handel

East Team

Hingle McCringleberry

East Team

L’Carpetron Dookmarriot

East Team

J’Dinkalage Morgoone

East Team

Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon

Team

Player Name

West Team

Saggitariutt Jefferspin

West Team

D’Glester Hardunkichud

West Team

Swirvithan L’Goodling-Splatt

West Team

Quatro Quatro

West Team

Ozamataz Buckshank

West Team

Beezer Twelve Washingbeard

West Team

Shakiraquan T.G.I.F. Carter

West Team

X-Wing @Aliciousness

West Team

Sequester Grundelplith M.D.

West Team

Scoish Velociraptor Maloish

West Team

T.J. A.J. R.J. Backslashinfourth V

West Team

Eeee Eeeeeeeee

West Team

Donkey Teeth

West Team

Torque (Construction Drilling Noise) Lewith

West Team

(The Player Formerly Known As Mousecop)

West Team

Dan Smith

"East/West College Bowl" starts with a simple comic premise and just keeps escalating from there, making it one of Key & Peele's best sketches. Names like Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon or Hingle McCringleberry are great comic monikers, but by the time it gets to X-Wing @Aliciousness or (The Player Formerly Known As Mousecop), the sketch just gets transcendent. The comic capper of Dan Smith is just icing on the cake and a perfect final laugh.

East/West Bowl 2

The Follow-Up Increases The Ridiculous Names

Keegan Michael Key as fake football player Dahistorius Lamystorius in Key & Peele

The Key & Peele football names sketch proved to be one of their most popular as shown by the fact that they brought it back for a follow-up. Wisely, the sketch avoids tampering with the proven formula of the original and simply operates as an excuse to deliver even more ridiculous names, similar to Key & Peele's substitute teacher sketches.

Even with the simplicity of the sketch, it's as funny as ever with Key & Peele's pitch-perfect delivery as well as the straight-faced manner the football commentators accept these increasingly improbable names. While the original sketch eases viewers into the concept with some warm-up names, the sequel just dives in.

Team

Player Name

East Team

Coznesster Smiff

East Team

Elipses Corter

East Team

Nyquillus Dillwad

East Team

Bismo Funyuns

East Team

Decatholac Mango

East Team

Mergatroid Skittle

East Team

Quiznatodd Bidness

East Team

D'Pez Poopsie

East Team

Quackadilly Blip

East Team

Goolius Boozler

East Team

Bisquiteen Trisket

East Team

Fartrell Cluggins

East Team

Blyrone Blashinton

East Team

Cartoons Plural

East Team

Jammie Jammie-Jammie

East Team

Fudge

Team

Player Name

West Team

Equine Ducklings

West Team

Dahistorius Lamystorius

West Team

Ewokoniad Sigourneth JuniorStein

West Team

Eqqsnuizitine Buble-Schwinslow

West Team

Huka'lakanaka Hakanakaheekalucka'hukahakafaka

West Team

King Prince Chambermaid

West Team

Ladennifer Jadaniston

West Team

Ladadadaladadadadada Dala-Dadaladaladalada

West Team

Harvard University

West Team

Morse Code

West Team

Wingdings

West Team

Firstname Lastname

West Team

God

West Team

Squeeeeeeeeeeps

West Team

Benedict Cumberbatch

West Team

A.A. Ron Balakay

The sequel sketch leans even more into the absurd with the inclusion of actor Benedict Cumberbatch's name without any changes being a particularly funny addition. Of course, it is hard to ignore someone whose entire name is simply "Fudge" (with no school name) while the cryptic Firstname Lastname is made even funnier by the suggestion that he attended "College University." It all makes for a hilarious follow-up that proves the concept has not gotten old and remains a high point of Key & Peele.

This Isn't Key & Peele's Only Football Sketch

NFL Players Make Fun Of Their Names & Key & Peele Take On Concussions & Taunting Celebrations

Key & Peele offers everything from social commentary to pop culture and movie humor to sports sketches. The East/West sketch with the bizarre names isn't the only time the comedy duo has skewered football. There was even a third East/West sketch in which Key and Peele were ed by real NFL stars who made fun of their real names as well, including Prince Amukamara, Fozzy Whittaker, Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, and D’Brickashawn Ferguson. The best was Aaron Rodgers, who called himself "A.A. Ron Rodgers."

In season 3, Key and Peele also brought back a player from the first East/West sketch in Hingle McCringleberry and gave him his own spotlight in "McCringleberry's Excessive Celebration," which sees him shaking his pelvis after big plays. After the referee signals for a penalty, the sketch just gets more ridiculous from there, with the referee kneeling down next to him and looking closely at his crotch to determine if it shakes at all for another taunting penalty. It is a great look at the silly penalties and celebrations in football.

It becomes the show's best football sketch, a social commentary on brain injuries in the sport.

In season 4, the title of the fifth episode is "Quarterback Concussion," and Key & Peele offers up a quarterback who has suffered a concussion trying to motivate his team, even though he is confused and his brain is not operating right. He isn't even sure if they are playing football, and he thinks his helmet is an apple pie. When the trainer comes out to tell him he needs medical attention, it is an animated squirrel, and it becomes the show's best football sketch as a social commentary on brain injuries in the sport.

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Key & Peele
Release Date
January 31, 2012
Network
Comedy Central
Showrunner
Keegan-Michael Key

WHERE TO WATCH

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Comedians Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele showcase their comedic and improvisation skills in Key & Peele, a sketch show produced for Comedy Central. Airing for 5 seasons from 2012 to 2015, Key & Peele pokes fun at a large number of topical and timeless issues with satirical humor.

Seasons
5