looks dapper, focused, and charming, but we soon realize that it's all just an elaborate act. Under the confident ad man lies a broken man with no sense of identity. Nothing about him is real: even his name is not actually his. Don AKA Dick had a difficult childhood. Growing up in a loveless home with a stern father, a cold step-mother, and a younger brother, he never learned what it means to love and how to be loved in return. When a chance to reinvent himself came by, he grabbed it with both hands. But that doesn't mean it was all smooth sailing from there.
Don is exceptionally good at pretending, which serves him well in his career. The way he butters up women is one of those things about him that would not fly today, but how he handles clients is still considered just as valuable as it was in the sixties. Watching his life unfold, there are many things Don's journey can teach us about life.
Your Lies Will Catch Up With You
The truth often catches up with Don and it obviously stresses him out. The first time, he had luck. Anna Draper let him off the hook and even befriended the thief of her husband's identity. Then, it was Pete who found out about who he actually was. Not to mention the tragic story of his baby brother Adam who couldn't be happier about his big brother being alive. Since Peggy didn't know about his childhood, Don didn't let Adam back into his life, causing Adam to kill himself.
How could Don feel truly loved by his wife if she didn't even know who he was? How can you live in peace when you know that everything you are is based on a lie?
Recognize The Cycles That Keep Repeating
Throughout the series, Don got worse and worse. He keeps making the same mistakes over and over again, each time gaining more insight and losing more control. Don Draper's crisis is typically set off by death (Adam's, Anna's and Lane's), followed by him confiding in a certain woman (Anna, Peggy and even Betty) and reinventing himself.
He ruined two marriages, makes several fresh starts in his career and goes on uncontrollable binges in the meantime. In order to get better, we must recognize the themes that keep repeating themselves in our lives. Especially when we hurt those who love us the most in the process - which is most evident in Don's relationship with Sally.
Fake It Until You Make It (Kind Of) Works
Deceit and lies are not okay, but knowing when to keep your cool is an important lesson we have to learn in life. When Pete confronted Don Draper about identity theft, Don didn't let his anxiety and fear show - instead, he stood his ground and put Pete in his place.
Don doesn't have a fancy university degree, but managed to hustle his way from selling fur coats to becoming a creative director. After Roger gave him his business card, he relentlessly pursued the opportunity that has presented itself in his life.
The Best Things In Life Are Free
Bert Cooper's big send-off is one of the most emotional scenes on the show. Bert singing that the best things in life are free is Don's daydream, or if we are being pessimistic, a hallucination of a mad man.
Bert is giving Don a lesson we all should learn as well. Happiness is out there for us to take, but we first have to identify it and stop searching for it in our desires, material things and careers.
Childhood Trauma Should Be Taken Seriously
Don's mother was a prostitute who died during childbirth and Don's father was a miserable drunk who died when Don was just ten years old. His step-mother hated him and when she remarried, Don moved into Uncle Mack's brothel. Growing up, he had no one to rely on and no one he felt safe with. These experiences left a deep mark on him and are a huge part of the reason why Don struggles with intimacy and authentic relationships.
If there is something we can learn about Don's denial, it's that we subconsciously always act our trauma out somehow. From Don's treatment of women to his substance abuse, that is all a consequence of trauma he never dealt with.
"You Want Some Respect? Go Out And Get It For Yourself."
Even though he was damaged, Don Draper said some smart things here and there. People who grew up in difficult circumstances are often very resilient. Don was an experienced man and made for a great leader because of it. Don gave us great advice about self-respect: "You want some respect? Go out and get it for yourself." His teaching approach is tough, but it's honest and direct.
Respect isn't something that will come to us simply because we want it. If we let other people walk all over us, they won't respect us. You have to get out there and demand it, beginning with showing some to yourself. Don never let other people overstep their boundaries with him and that's why he enjoyed such a strong professional reputation.
Connections Are Everything
Nurturing our relationships and connections is the single most important thing we have to do in order to maintain a sense of belonging. Don unfortunately only knew how to dazzle his clients, but failed to show up for his family. When his great looks are paired with his emotional unavailability, we get a character who is not the most likable of the bunch.
Don is at his worst when he starts losing his family. Betty remarried, Megan left and Anna died. Without connections, Don seemed lost in space and started losing his grip even at his job.
Don't Take ments Seriously
Don understands the minds of consumers better than most and that's what makes him the star of Sterling Cooper. He is good at selling ideas to people, but doesn't believe them himself. He doesn't even believe in love, which is pretty evident when he tells Rachel: "What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons."
Don gave us an insight into how the world of marketing works or at least how it used to work. ments create needs that we don't actually have, making us spend money on products that - contrary to our belief - won't bring us happiness and fulfillment.
"Make It Simple, But Significant."
"Make it simple, but significant" is a solid piece of advice that marketing professionals should take. Don's best pitches were always to the point and uncomplicated. Just think of the pilot episode. Don comes up with a brilliant one-liner for one of the firm's biggest clients, Lucky Strike. Just as it is in marketing, so it is in our own lives. We often complicate things and over-analyze, but when we keep our life philosophy simple, yet significant, much of our worries fade away.
Even though Don Draper is a character with questionable morals, he is a brilliant an. There is much to learn from him for those interested in marketing and business studies.
Get Therapy
The bottom line is this: if your life seems as if you are constantly in a survival mode, burdened by lies, secrets, and feelings of unworthiness, the best way to break the vicious cycle is to get help. In "Person To Person", Don is at a retreat in Big Sur and attends a group therapy session against his will. There, he hears Leonard's story.
He talks about how unworthy and invisible he feels to his family and work colleagues. Don recognizes himself in Leonard and gives him a heartfelt hug. The season finale proves that he has changed a lot since season 1. In therapy, we give ourselves the chance to get in touch with our emotions. Nothing can jump-start recovery like acts of comion and love.