Summary

• "Dance Until Your Feet Hurt, Sing Until Your Lungs Hurt, Act Until You're William Hurt." Phil's quirky life advice is both funny and insightful.
• Phil's humor and love for his family shine through in his unique advice.
• "Key To A Good Birthday? Low Expectations." Phil's philosophy on setting realistic expectations is both heartwarming and humorous.

In the fourth season of Modern Family, Phil (Ty Burrell) and Claire (Julie Bowen) pack up Haley's (Sarah Hyland) things and move her to college. It was a big day for the Dunphy clan because no one imagined Haley would make it there. Modern Family had followed the Dunphy family since Haley was a freshman in high school, watching the kids grow up alongside their extended family's shenanigans. Part of watching the younger characters grow up was seeing education milestones, like Haley leaving for college, play out.

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The Dunphy family was filled with jitters but Phil and Claire were prepared in their own ways: Claire gave Haley a box of condoms while Phil wrote a book called Phil'sosophy. In his book, he wrote things Haley needed to to get through life unscathed. These are mottos that Phil lives by and has preached throughout various episodes. Haley thought the book was weird at first but ended up smiling while reading it before bed. It looks like Phil has some pretty unique philosophies...

These phil'sosophies are revealed in Season 4, Episode 2 "Schooled" of Modern Family.

"Dance Until Your Feet Hurt, Sing Until Your Lungs Hurt, Act Until You're William Hurt."

William Hurt Previously Played Thaddeus Ross In The Marvel Cinematic Universe

This life motto is very Phil Dunphy. Using a play on words is right up his alley. Surprisingly, he didn't use a play on words for actor Kevin Bacon. Nevertheless, William Hurt has been in movies like Into The Wild, A History of Violence, Broadcast News, and much more. Haley is used to acting a certain way to get herself out of trouble, so this advice isn't bad. If only she ed this philsosophy when she got arrested and kicked out of college.

"Take A Lesson From Parakeets. If You're Ever Feeling Lonely, Just Eat In Front Of A Mirror."

This Philsosophy Plays On Haley's Active Social Life

This advice is hilarious but rather sad as well. Haley was starting fresh and attending a school where she didn't know anyone. She was used to being a popular girl with multiple friends and boyfriends to fall back on, but in college, she started at the bottom of the social scene.

Seeing Haley eat alone in her school's cafeteria was a big change for viewers — and quite frankly, rather heartbreaking. It is doubtful that Haley would be able to eat in front of a mirror without iring her hair or makeup, but this is advice Alex could have used when she went to Caltech.

"Key To A Good Birthday? Low Expectations."

Phil Says This In Season 1, Episode 19 "Game Changer"

To be fair, this exact advice isn't in his book. Instead, this quote comes from a season 1 episode in which Phil is hoping to celebrate his birthday with a new iPad, which is being released on the same day. The episode also provides one of the best Phil Dunphy quotes in which he believes Steve Jobs is telling him he loves him with the release of the iPad. Unfortunately, his birthday didn't entirely meet his expectations.

This phils'osophy took the quote's place: "The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you if you just lower your expectations." It appears that Phil has had some heartbreaks over the years from having high expectations, and he didn't want Haley to suffer the same pain. As a dad, he's simply ing on life's lessons to his first daughter.

"Watch A Sunrise At Least Once A Day."

Luke Reveals This Philsosophies

Phil wants his children to watch a sunrise at least once a day. This is hilarious because the sun does, in fact, rise only once a day. His children are also never up early enough to watch the sunrise —except for, perhaps, Alex if she's studying.

Seeing Luke read his dad's Phil'sosophies is charming because he's a mini-Phil himself. He probably didn't even realize the sun only rose once a day, making him really think about the idea.

"If You Love Something, Set It Free. Unless It's A Tiger."

This Philsosophy Puts A Spin On An Old Adage

The quote "If you love something, set it free," has been around for centuries. It's one of those mottos that's incredibly hard to do because no one wants to leave something they love. Phil learns this the hard way when Alex goes to school. He realizes Luke is growing up too, and he's getting to that age where hanging with his dad isn't cool anymore.

Phil stumbles upon duck eggs and decides to raise them himself as a way to be a new dad again. It's not until the ducks are older that he realizes he needs to let the birds out of the nest and spread their wings — just like his children.

"If You Get Pulled Over For Speeding, Tell The Policeman Your Spouse Has Diarrhea."

Claire Does Not Appreciate This Philsosophy

It's not known if Phil has ever used this philsosophy, but considering he put it in his book for his children to live by, he most likely did. The look on Claire's face says it all. What's humiliating to Claire isn't necessarily humiliating to Phil. In fact, there are plenty of things Claire is embarrassed by when it comes to Phil's personality, but others find him hilarious and charming.

She ends up feeling bad that she second-guesses him and realizes she's in the wrong. She did this in the episode "Strangers On A Treill" when she hid Phil's notecards for the SCARB awards.

"Marry Someone Who Looks Sexy While Disappointed."

This Philsosophy Appears To Apply To Claire

As often as Claire judges Phil for his choices, she obviously loves and adores her husband. She's made it clear in a few episodes that they have a healthy romantic life, and she becomes tense when they don't make love enough.

Seeing how Claire is both beautiful and disappointed regularly, Phil follows his own philsosophy. The only thing is, it doesn't seem like Haley did. It's not often that Dylan is disappointed. Confused, yes. But disappointed? No.

"You Can Tell A Lot About A Person By His Biography."

Gloria Reveals This Philsosophy

"You can tell a lot about a person from his biography" is self-explanatory, which is why it's hilarious. Phil definitely talked these philsosophies over with his own dad before publishing them for his children, because this kind of humor is their style. Gloria seemed unimpressed when reading Phil's words to live by, which only made the moment funnier.

"When Life Gives You Lemonade, Make Lemons. Life Will Be All Like 'What?!'"

This Philsosophy Puts A Spin On An Old Saying

This has to be one of the most quoted lines throughout the entire series. The way Phil reads it is genius. It's clear Phil found this expression hilarious and wanted his children to have the same playful outlook on life.

Phil is the ultimate dreamer. He works hard, but he doesn't do anything unless he loves it. He's a great realtor because he loves everything there is about real estate. And he's a great dad because he acts like a kid himself. He even told Luke that if he could go into another lifetime, he would be roommates with Luke, so they could do everything together. His love for life (and lemonade) is infectious.

"Never Be Afraid To Reach For The Stars, Because Even If You Fall, You'll Always Be Wearing A Parentchute™."

This Is The Philsosophy That Makes Haley Smile

Whenever Phil thinks of a new invention or word, he adds the ™ at the end for the full effect. He wants the world to know that it was an independent thought and that he's working on trademarking it all. Over the years, Phil and Luke have created some pretty wild inventions. There was the pancake flipper, the head-scratcher, the wear-chair... Phil is a man who wears many hats and wants his children to never stop reaching for the stars.

Though Phil might be a little cheesy, and his inventions might not always work, this philsosophy is the one that makes Haley laugh when she flips through the book her dad gave her. Phil is a good dad who does understand what his kids need, even if he doesn't always get it right the first time in Modern Family.