Teenage movies have a lot of things in common. They not only star ridiculously attractive actors who look a tad too old to be playing high school students, but they also share several narrative and thematic similarities. One of them is the presence of a mean girl. She's beautiful, cruel, rich, and unobtainable. And whether she's just misunderstood, or actually a terrible person, her presence often spices up the entire story.
These characters are not the typical girls next door. They're daring, aggressive, driven, and almost unstoppable when their minds are set on something. Even on a horror film, they'd do better than the average Michael Myers would take a step back.
Vivian Kensington From Legally Blonde
Vivian is not so much mean, as she is entitled. Her jealousy of Elle's status as Warner's ex-girlfriend, as well as her vivacity and charm, make her instantly dislike the main character. However, once the two get to know each other, Vivian is revealed to be kind, ive, and an actual great friend.
Because she's not actually mean, much less cruel, Vivian wouldn't last long in a horror movie. She'd be no match for the killer, and most other victims would probably take advantage of her lack of street-smarts to leave her behind. She'd most likely be the first one to go.
Amber Von Tussle From Hairspray
She's one of the nicest kids in town, but she's actually quite mean-spirited. Spoiled and entitled, she treats everyone with contempt, confident that her mother's position as a producer of The Corny Collins' Show makes her untouchable. In the end, however, she's shown to be mean out of habit and capable of redemption.
Her complete lack of touch with reality would make Amber vulnerable to all kinds of betrayals and manipulations. The killer wouldn't need to work that hard to catch her, and when he did, she'd pretty much be done. She's not the most athletic or resourceful, so she'd most likely be a goner.
Marianne Bryant From Easy A
Deeply religious but still prejudiced and bigotted, Marianne Bryant lives her life under a rigorous adherence to faith. She looks down on everyone and is constantly judging them, considering them borderline heathens for not complying with her narrow worldview.
Marianne is still quite capable of inflicting pain and suffering, so she'd outlast at least a couple of her friends. However, her strict and nearly blind religious fanatism would prevent her from truly doing what was necessary to survive. In the end, her own beliefs would be her doom.
Regina George From Mean Girls
The undisputed Queen Bee of millennial mean girls, Regina George is mostly all bark and no bite. Sure, she likes to be in control and is willing to protect her power and position, and in a way, she really just wants to see the world burn. However, she's also capable of growth, especially after tragedy strikes her.
Regina would put up a very decent fight, and she'd even manage to harm the killer, perhaps with a knife to the leg or the shoulder. She'd be the victim that runs away and gets chased for a while before actually being finished off. She would definitely die, though, and it would probably be in quite a gruesome way.
Heather Chandler From Heathers
She's a mythic bitch. Solid Teflon, never bothered, never harassed. She's also a mean girl who's actually cruel. As the leader of the Heathers, she enjoys being evil and excels at it. Everyone fears and loathes her, but she doesn't care as long as she's on top of the food chain.
Heather Chandler would be taken for granted by everyone, and they'd all pay dearly for it. She's not someone you want to mess with, something that would soon become clear. She wouldn't hesitate in offering someone else as a tribute if that meant saving herself. She'd betray and manipulate everyone and would even try to strike a deal with the killer, which of course wouldn't work.
Courtney Shayne From Jawbreaker
Vain, manipulative, vindictive, and utterly remorseless, Courtney Shayne was born to star in a horror movie. An accidental murderer who shows no sign of regret for the numerous lives she destroys in her path to popularity, Courtney truly is Satan in heels.
Still, and for all her rotten qualities, Courtney would be no match for a killer on the loose. She'd try to lie and cheat her way out of her potentially deathly situation, yet she'd find that no amount of words can stop a knife from coming her way. She'd go down like a pro, though, fighting until the very end.
Chris Hargensen From Carrie
When it comes to cinematic mean girls, Chris Hargensen is, arguably, the first and one of the absolute nastiest. Diabolic to the core, Chris gets sick pleasure from being evil. She subjects Carrie White to unbearable torture just because she's different, and is willing to humiliate the poor girl just so she can get her revenge.
Chris is an absolutely terrible human being, who doesn't care about anything or anyone other than herself. She wouldn't be above killing anyone who got in her way, including her so-called friends. She'd be absolutely stellar in a horror movie because she has zero boundaries or empathy. The killer would ultimately outsmart her, finally putting an end to her cruelty.
Kathryn Merteuil From Cruel Intentions
The cruelest girl in 90s movies, Kathryn is a true mastermind. Always one step ahead of everyone else, Kathryn uses and discards people for her own amusement, She's cold, wealthy, beautiful, narcissistic, shrewd, and cunning, attributes that would probably serve her well when fighting for her life.
Incapable of love and completely nasty, Kathryn would feel nothing at the carnage around her. Her main interest would be surviving, and she'd do everything in her power to do it. She'd go as far as to use human shields to protect herself from the killer. She has everything to survive, except the empathy necessary to be a true final girl. Her own selfishness would be her demise.
Jennifer Check From Jennifer's Body
Jennifer's evil. Actually evil, not just high school evil. She kills boys, but she goes both ways. The most popular girl in her school, cheerleader Jennifer is sacrificed to Satan by a band of wannabe-pop stars and comes back as a demonically-possessed, boy-eating menace.
Jennifer is basically a demon, so she'd be extremely hard to take down. She has a severe weakness, though, and it's that she needs to constantly feed or else she loses her abilities. If both she and the killer got rid of all the other victims, then she'd be left with no food source and would become a sitting duck for the rampaging psycho.
Nancy Downs From The Craft
A witch that's as powerful as she is unbalanced, Nancy is definitely someone to be feared. Erratic, merciless, greedy for power, and completely detached, this teenage witch is a murderer who's just waiting for her chance to show the world what she's capable of.
Nancy and the killer would engage in an all-out war. They'd probably kill everyone else just so they could have the space all to themselves. They'd give it their all and wound each other significantly. Nancy's powers would give the edge and she might even win the battle. She wouldn't escape unharmed, though, and she'd suffer severe wounds, both physical and mental.
