Of all the '80s movies that should get a remake, It, there are no family adventure movies remotely like The Goonies being made today.
In 2020 there are dozens of rising stars who all have amazing talent, so if The Goonies was made today, the chances are it would be just as emotionally resonant as the original, if not more so. And with the ability to recast The Goonies as if it was made today, it allows the opportunity to fix some major problematic moments of the original movie to scrub over the offensive stereotypes.
Mikey - Noah Jupe
As Mikey is the leader of the pack but also the most anxious, there is no better candidate than Noah Jupe. Jupe has already shown that he has the dramatic chops as he is the center of some of the Honey Boy. And he is reprising his role as Marcus Abbott in the horror movie A Quiet Place Part II, proving that he can hold his own with more adult themes.
Brand - Levi Miller
Being the cool older brother to Mikey, a role that was once consumed by Josh Brolin, Levi Miller is slightly above the ages of the rest of the cast and he oozes coolness. He has already led his own movie with Pan, and he proved himself as a capable lead even in his early teen years. Miller also starred in worst book adaptations of all time, Miller showed that he could bring his a game to fantastical movies.
Chunk - Jeremy Ray Taylor
When finding the perfect child actor to fill the role of Chunk, whose most prevalent characteristic is being overweight, it’s important to cast an actor who has more merits to fill the role rather than just being physically appropriate. Though Jeremy Ray Taylor might fill the physical aspect of the role, he could also help modernize the character, as he has shown in It that he can portray more layered and complex characters.
Mouth - Noah Schnapp
Noah Schnapp doesn’t have many movie roles to his name outside of the best Cold War movies. And being cast in a Spielberg movie not only means that you must be doing something right as an actor, but you’re also closer to being cast in The Goonies than many others. The movie might have been written by Chris Columbus and directed by Richard Donner, but the movie was executive produced by Spielberg and it’s based on a story created by him.
On top of that, Schnapp would be great for the role and it would subvert expectations, as Schnapp is known as one of the quieter characters in Stranger Things.
Stef - Sophia Lillis
Though this is the second actor in cast who starred in It, it makes sense as one of the things that It got right was the on-screen chemistry between the children. And as the movie captures kids coming together and working ass a team against an evil entity, it shares similar themes to The Goonies. Sophia Lillis stole the show in It, and in that bathroom scene, the she really captured the fear that was also seen by Stef in the original movie.
Andy - Millie Bobby Brown
As Andy is a cheerleader who has a crush Brand, being the eye candy to a higher billed character is outside Millie Bobby Brown’s purview. But she is arguably the best teenage actor of her generation. There are few actresses that could turn Andy in to a three dimensional character and an action hero, which she should have been in the original. If anybody has the ability to do that, it’s Millie Bobby Brown, and she also looks similar to Kerri Green who played the character in the original.
Data - Ian Chen
Being an '80s action adventure movie, The Goonies is not without its downfalls as it suffers the same issues as other movies in its class. As harmless as the kids’ movie is, there are a lot of stereotypes, from Chunk to the exaggerated view of Asian Americans with Data. Data was originally played by Jonathan Ke Quan, who essentially played the exact same character in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom as Short Round.
T0 remake The Goonies, the characteristics of Data must be changed significantly to get over the demeaning stereotypes, and the teenager for the job is Ian Chen, who has the comedy chops as seen in ABC’s Fresh off the Boat, and has carried a superhero movie on his shoulders with Shazam.
Jake - Josh Brolin
Of all the blockbuster movies that Josh Brolin has starred in, The Goonies still remains one of his best films. With Brolin’s first major role being in The Goonies, there’s no better actor to take the part of Jake, who has no shame in trying to murder children. And as Brolin has made a name for himself starring as the villain as of late, the role would be perfect for him.
Francis - Michael Shannon
Francis rounds out the Fratelli brothers as another member who cares not for a child’s life if that’s what stands between him and pirate treasure. Francis is the strange member of the family who sometimes takes things too far, and that’s something that Michael Shannon has been doing for his whole career, whether it’s destroying Metropolis in Knives Out.
Mama Fratelli - s McDormand
s McDormand has some of the Three Billboards, and though the role may seem a little immature for a two time Oscar winning actress, if Meryl Streep can star in Mamma Mia and Into The Woods, then McDormand can star in The Goonies.
