Being about a bachelor who reluctantly takes in his recently divorced brother and his son, the premise of Two and a Half Men caused a lot of problematic and controversial narratives, but it featured an amazing cast of characters that fans became attached to. It’s hard to imagine the show ever getting remade given its subject matter, but by delicately smoothing some of the show’s rough edges, a new version of the series could be better than the original.
Two And A Half Men’s original cast featured 80s teen movie alumni, seasoned sitcom pros, and a bunch of character actors in a league of their own, but if it was remade in 2020, these actors could give the original cast a run for its money.
Rose - Mila Kunis
Rose is the woman who lives in the apartment below Charlie’s beach house and is completely obsessed with the musician. She is so infatuated with him that she is willing to overlook how promiscuous he is and how disrespectful of women he is.
The only other actress working in TV that can put forward that amount of erraticness is Mila Kunis. Her work on That 70’s Show as the wealthy and controlling Jackie Burkhart is what Rose would be like if she actually found herself in a relationship with Charlie.
Walden Schmidt - John Krasinski
Walden Schmidt, the tech guru who replaced Charlie Sheen, might not be one of the fans’ favorite characters, as his entrance was one of the worst season premiers of the show, but Ashton Kutcher did the best he could in the wake of Sheen’s absence. He’s the younger, more attractive, more sarcastic, and much smarter version of Charlie, and the perfect actor to take up the mantle is John Krasinski. The former The Office actor is already naturally sarcastic, not to mention charming and supremely handsome.
Herb Melnick - Bob Odenkirk
Bob Odenkirk has been on the TV sitcom circuit for decades now, as he had a hilarious feature in Seinfeld, and then in Curb Your Enthusiasm, and he of course had his own show with David Cross, Mr. Show.
Odenkirk would be the perfect comedian to replace, Ryan Stiles, also a comedic heavyweight from the 1990s. As the character of Herb is socially awkward and finds himself in a semi-abusive relationship with Judith, he is one of the best recurring characters, and Odenkirk has always been a great ing character.
Judith - Megan Mullally
There’s a revolving door of female actors who appear on Two And A Half Men, but many of them don’t last more than an episode as they’re Alan and Charlie’s random dates. But the one female character who appears the most that isn’t a mother figure to the men is Judith, the fiery ex-wife of Alan’s.
Judith is demanding and always stands her ground, and that’s why Megan Mullally of Will & Grace fame, is the perfect candidate for the role, as she can play the character perfectly but still be fun, which is something that Judith lacked.
Evelyn Harper - Shelly Long
Being the manipulative mother who doesn’t seemingly care all that much about her sons, and especially not her grandson, Evelyn is one of the funniest characters of the show. Shelley Long has already played a character similar to Evelyn in Modern Family, as she plays DeDe Pritchett, Claire and Mitchell’s mother. Her role as DeDe was hilariously manipulative, but she only appears a handful of times throughout the series. However, being cast as Evelyn, Long would be tearing up the scene in every episode.
Berta - Kathy Bates
Berta has some of the sitcom stars who ed away too soon. Being the maid who cleans up after the three guys at the beach house, Berta is the character who kicks them into shape with tough love.
There’s no better actress to carry the torch other than Kathy Bates. The actress is incredibly tough and showed that she could be a laugh-out-loud funny authoritative figure in a sitcom when she appeared in The Office for a handful of episodes.
Alan Harper - John Oliver
Though there are a lot of things that don’t quite make sense about Alan, the character brings the most laughs to the screen thanks to his inferiority complex and constant financial struggles. The character is always down on his luck, but he revels in feeling sorry for himself, and that’s why John Oliver would be perfect as Alan. Oliver’s whole schtick plays on the fact he’s miserable, especially his character in the wildly entertaining Community.
Jake Harper - Jacob Tremblay
Even for such a young actor, Jacob Tremblay is better than most grown actors in the industry, so this might be a little easier of a role than what he’s used to. However, seeing Jacob joke around on a lighthearted sitcom is really all anybody wants, and given that Jake was a rather one-dimensional character, having Tremblay in the role could enhance the character and add some more layers to him.
Charlie Harper - Joel McHale
Almost everything that Charlie does in the show wouldn’t fly today. However, if the show was to be remade today, there’s only one possible actor who could take on the role and deliver the goods, and that’s Joel McHale. To replace Charlie Sheen in the role of Charlie Harper, the actor has to be charming, a little smug, and pretty laid back, and that’s Joel McHale down to a tee.
Not only that, but him and John Oliver already have a great back and forth on Community, and to have them constantly bickering at each other in a new Two and a Half Men would be TV perfection.
