Sex And The City, groundbreaking show that it was, often failed to portray realistic female friendships. While the show led the way in centering around women in their 30s, their personal growth, love, loss, and life in the Big Apple, the characterizations of the four friends were often bordering on extremes. And the show sometimes reverently referenced the fact that so much of the women's friendship is based on talking about men.
Two of the friends that seem to be on the opposite ends of the spectrum, yet are portrayed as besties are Miranda and Carrie. And if you have ever wondered how these women could possibly be friends despite their differences, then this list is for you.
Carrie Has No Time For Miranda
Everyone re "Time And Punishment," in which Miranda throws out her neck in the shower, and rather than come to help her, Carrie sends Aiden in her place. A shocked, naked and in-pain Miranda has to then ask her friend's on-again-off-again boyfriend to help her in a very compromising position. Later, when Carrie apologizes to Miranda with bagels she brought over as a guise in order to actually keep complaining about her problems, Miranda fiercely calls her out for her "bullshit bagels." Yes, Miranda is a person who is able to stand her ground and call out her friends, but Carrie is often uncaring about her friend's problems and boundaries.
Carrie And Miranda Don't Have That Much In Common
Miranda becomes a partner at her law firm, owns her own apartment, and can be quite blunt, to the point and direct. Carrie is a retired "it girl" who writes for a column and somehow affords her own place and going out for every meal. Her shoes and clothing are stocked and she is hinted at being impractical with her money. It is safe to say that many people have a friend that makes unwise money and life decisions and eventually have to stop giving that person advice and accept their choices. It seems that this would actually be a constant struggle in their friendship.
The Skipper Situation
Early on in the first season, Carrie introduces Miranda to a friend of hers, Skipper. While she is quite blithe about the two characters meeting one another, she failed to fill in either of her friends about their potential interaction. It seems clear Skipper is quite obsessive, and Miranda, while she seems slightly interested at first, overall isn't that into him.
In this case, Carrie is not only irresponsible to her friend Miranda in telling her what she may be g up for in dating Skipper, but she also isn't very fair to Skipper who seems to really want a committed relationship.
Carrie and Mr. Big
The series-long relationship between Carrie and Mr. Big is both central to the story of these four women, and also incredibly problematic. Back when the two first meet, and he is unwilling to spend time with her friends and there were many warning signs about his willingness to actually be a part of Carrie's life, especially because her friends are so important to her. Over the many arcs of their relationship, Miranda consistently expressed healthy concern about Big, and his behavior that often sent Carrie spiraling. In truth, Carrie and Big's relationship is accepted in the end, but it is hard to imagine that these women, Miranda especially can truly accept him after what he's done.
Miranda And Carrie Have Wildly Different Priorities
In "Cock A Doodle Do," Miranda and Carrie's friendship comes to a head when the two argue over Carrie deciding to have lunch with Big shortly after his break up with Natasha. Miranda accuses Carrie of victimizing herself by continuing an on-again-off-again toxic relationship with Mr. Big, and then constantly relying on her friends to pick up the pieces. Carrie accuses Miranda of being heartless and writing people off as soon as they make a mistake. Their argument does get resolved within the episode but it also hints toward something bigger about their friendship. Carrie is willing to risk it all for the men that show up in her life, and Miranda sets boundaries and doesn't invite people who have treated her or her friends poorly.
Carrie And Motherhood
It is a subject often talked about peripherally on the show until Charlotte begins actively trying to have a baby with Trey, and Miranda winds up pregnant with Steve's baby. How Miranda is treated when she is experiencing her changing body, her changing priorities, not being as excited for motherhood as she feels expected to be is quite interesting. How her friends treat her once she's had her baby is a bit shocking. In "Anchors Away," Samantha shoos baby and mother into a cab so the rest of them can enjoy a shopping trip. And later when Carrie visits Miranda at her apartment she is so uncomfortable watching her friend try and breastfeed that she must leave.
Of course, it is a hard adjustment for most if someone they know begins to have life experiences they cannot relate to, but how Miranda is ostracized for having a child, especially by Carrie her best friend, wouldn't fly.
Miranda Isn't Afraid To Be Herself
Carrie is the protagonist of the series, so we often see the world through her eyes, and it can be a bit clouded. While Carrie frequently obsesses in relationships, Miranda typically tells her partners exactly what she means and is quite comfortable being herself. For example, in "A Woman's Right To Shoes," Miranda still finds time to enjoy the company of Dr. Robert Leeds while covered in chickenpox without feeling overly self-conscious. By contrast, Carrie once obsessed for an entire episode about Big hearing her fart for the first time.
Carrie Does Little To Reassure Miranda
Of the many inconsistencies in their friendship, Miranda often takes a role as a sounding board in Carrie's romantic conquests. But she is usually uplifting, to the point and big on authenticity. When she does falter in her confidence, as in "Three's A Crowd," Carrie's not always there to return the favor.
Who could forget Miranda's genuine insecurity about not being asked for a threesome while her friend's all flippantly brag (though by today's standards this doesn't seem quite so taboo)? When she expresses that she feels rejected, it is treated as little more than a punchline by her friends.
Miranda Can Be Very Direct
Everything about Miranda is straightforward. From her upper west side apartment, which is neatly decorated, to her fashion sense. Carrie, on the other hand, can be hard to be pinned down, indirect in her communication style and "flighty." The two have a hard time relating at times because of their different approaches to life and dating. While it comes across up once in a while in the series. One would imagine this could be a greater divide in an actual friendship, especially one as close as these two are supposed to have.
Miranda Can Sometimes Be A Homebody
In "What's Sex Got To Do With It," Miranda begins a famous sex strike until the dating conditions improve. While enacting this strike, she is pictured walking from room to room in her house and slowly eating chocolate cake until she is at last shown eating the cake out of the garbage. When Carrie is pictured at home it's usually only with one of her conquests or for work, and then she's off to the next trendy restaurant or shopping somewhere fabulous.