The best Donkey quotes in the Mike Myers' Shrek, a misanthropic ogre who gets thrust into the role of a hero. Shrek features a star-studded cast led by Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, and as Donkey, legendary comedian Eddie Murphy. The franchise takes familiar fairytales and turns them on their heads, adding in slapstick humor and larger-than-life characters not found in any other story — fairytale or otherwise.
This includes Eddie Murphy's head-turning performance as the annoying, gullible, and loving Donkey. While Shrek is the lead character of the franchise, there's no way to deny Eddie Murphy's Donkey, Shrek's devoted and hilarious sidekick, is also a star of the films. With sharp wit, pop culture commentary, and endless enthusiasm, Donkey remains Shrek's secret weapon. Donkey's quotes in the Shrek movies show him as funny and quick-witted as anyone in the franchise.
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25 "Okay, Let Me Get This Straight..."
Shrek (2001)
Shrek
WHERE TO WATCH
Shrek is a 2001 animated film featuring a solitary ogre named Shrek, voiced by Mike Myers, who embarks on a quest to rescue Princess Fiona, voiced by Cameron Diaz, from a dragon-guarded castle. Accompanied by Donkey, voiced by Eddie Murphy, Shrek sets out to fulfill a bargain with Lord Farquaad.
- Release Date
- May 18, 2001
- Runtime
- 90 minutes
- Director
- Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson
- Writers
- J.M. Barrie, Carlo Collodi, William Steig, Terry Rossio, Joe Stillman, Ted Elliott, Roger S.H. Schulman
Although they're rare, there are times when Eddie Murphy's Shrek character makes something resembling sense, such as when Shrek is ready to roar into battle and Donkey attempts to understand Shrek's reasoning and change Shrek's mind by explaining things as he sees them.. It's not a bad argument, all things considered.
"You gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad'll give you back your swamp, which you only don't have 'cause he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?"
The irony isn't lost on Shrek either, who becomes a bit annoyed by his companion's take on the situation, and utters the reply, "You know what? Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.” What makes these Donkey quotes funny is Shrek's reaction to them and Donkey's mostly deadpan delivery, which showcases why their relationship has carried four movies and counting.
24 "Me! Me! Oh, Oh Pick Me! Oh, I Know! I Know! Me!"
Shrek (2001)
Shrek found Donkey so irritating that he did his best to ignore him at a gathering to find out where Lord Farquaad was. After asking the crowd where he could find Farquaad, Donkey launched into a "pick me" tirade, only to be ignored by the ogre for as long as possible. Not one to be counted out, Donkey kept up the begging, leaping into the air while yelling this quote as Shrek did everything he could to pretend he was never there in the first place.
These were perfect Donkey quotes in Shrek that showed how much Donkey wanted to be part of something, and even though Shrek wasn't interested, Donkey never once took no for an answer. Shockingly enough for both characters, this sequence would mark the beginning of a lasting friendship.
23 "If We Ever Need An Expert On Licking Ourselves, We'll Give You A Call."
Shrek 2 (2004)
A sequel to the classic children's animated film, Sherk 2 follows newlywed ogre couple Sherk and Fiona, whose marriage is tested by a visit to Fiona's parents, the king and queen of Far Far Away. Distrustful of Shrek, the king begins working with Fiona's Fairy Godmother to break up the couple in order for Fiona to wed Fairy Godmother's son, Prince Charming. Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, and Eddie Murphy reprise their roles as Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey, with a further cast that includes John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Jennifer Saunders, and Antonio Banderas.
- Release Date
- May 19, 2004
- Runtime
- 93 minutes
- Director
- Kelly Asbury, Andrew Adamson, Conrad Vernon
- Writers
- David N. Weiss, Joe Stillman, J. David Stem, Andrew Adamson
One of the funniest parts of the Shrek franchise is the rivalry between Donkey and Puss in Boots. While trying to earn the title of best talking animal friend, they insult each other with hilarious burns. In Shrek 2, Donkey tells Puss In Boots that they'll call him if they ever need an expert on licking themselves. This is funny mostly because Donkey is essentially minimizing the role of the sword-fighting, slick-talking cat to that of a house cat.
Additionally, it's funny because it feels like the pot calling the kettle black. In this simple act of rejecting Puss in Boots, he's displaying the common donkey behavioral traits of being territorial and stubborn. This adds a second layer of hilarity to the quote. Ultimately, the characters are both a product of their species and so much more than that. Despite their great banter, the two work best when they see each other as equals with their own respective strengths and weaknesses.
22 "In The Morning, I'm Making Waffles!"
Shrek (2001)
As soon as Donkey unexpectedly shows up in Shrek's life, he proves himself to be a bouncing, endless ball of positivity and enthusiasm, which stands in direct conflict with Shrek's general air of grumpiness. That, of course, is what makes the two of them such a perfect comedic duo. After Donkey makes it clear that he intends to live in Shrek's swamp, he details his great plans for their future.
While Shrek isn't interested in being friends with the talkative little donkey from the get-go, Donkey confirms the two of them are going to be best friends forever from that moment on. Their first night together, according to Donkey, will consist of "stay[ing] up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!" This particular line, partly because of Eddie Murphy's tone when he says it, has become one of the most famous in the franchise.
21 "We Wear Our Fear Right There On Our Sleeves."
Shrek (2001)
Early on in the first Shrek film, Donkey fixates on the notion of ogres having layers, like onions and parfaits, as well as countless other things. It's a metaphor that Shrek and Donkey both refer to throughout the film after that first back-and-forth discussion, but Donkey's cheekiest reference to it comes at the most unexpected moment.
Donkey and Shrek will go on plenty of dangerous and heroic adventures during the franchise, but Shrek finds the two of them braving one of the most unenviable threats of all. In their attempts to rescue Princess Fiona from the tower, they're forced to cross a dangerous bridge surrounded by a dragon's lair and brimstone. And that's where Donkey makes the revelation that "donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves" — since, as it turns out, he's afraid of heights.
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20 "I Go Down Smooth But I Come Out Fighting!"
Shrek: Forever After (2010)
Shrek Forever After
WHERE TO WATCH
In the fourth film in the series, Shrek finds himself overwhelmed and wishing for the days when he lived a simple ogre's life. He is tempted into a contract with Rumpelstiltskin to earn a day of the life he wants, but it turns out to have dire consequences.
- Release Date
- May 21, 2010
- Runtime
- 93 minutes
- Director
- Mike Mitchell
- Writers
- Josh Klausner, Darren Lemke
When Donkey is very nearly cooked and eaten by the ogre resistance in Shrek: Forever After, he has some choice words for the cook, revealing that he may go down smoothly, but he'll come out fighting. These Donkey quotes in Shrek are both a look at his resilience in battle and a funny joke about what might happen if anyone did happen to eat him — it wouldn't be a pleasant experience after the fact.
This quote is quite indicative of Donkey's character, who was more concerned with how he'd be digested than being eaten at all. Donkey has also proven himself much harder for any enemy to get rid of than they might first believe. Murphy's hilarious delivery also goes to show just how perfect his casting was as this lovable cartoon donkey.
19 "I Just Know, Before This Is Over, I'm Gonna Need A Whole Lot Of Serious Therapy."
Shrek (2001)
One of the best and most underappreciated lines in the first Shrek movie is when Donkey says that he's going to need serious therapy after having to keep Fiona's secret. This quote is one of the funniest because it defies all logic that therapy would even exist in a fairytale land full of characters like Gingy and Pinnochio. At the same time, it's easy to look back at childhood stories like Cinderella and see trauma and darkness that could be worked on in therapy.
Additionally, the quote is funny because it's extremely relatable. While a child might not look at a situation and think that they need therapy, the stressors of day-to-day adult life could easily lead someone, even Donkey, to seek out therapy. This is a great example of a joke that's written for the parents watching in the audience with their kids.
18 "I Like That Boulder. That Is A Nice Boulder."
Shrek (2001)
Donkey is a Shrek character of very simple tastes and one who is very easy to please. He manages to find the good in just about everything around him. When he finds himself in Shrek's swamp, he's just about the most positive individual Shrek has ever met, including some amazing color commentary from Donkey, who takes to flattering the ogre in just about every way he can.
While wandering around the swamp grounds, Donkey begins providing hilarious observations on the home decor elements of Shrek's home: "It is lovely! Just beautiful. You know, you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder." But it's the boulder comment that seals the deal, elevating his little monologue to a whole new level of hilarity.
17 "And I Thought The Waffle Fairy Was Just A Bedtime Story!"
Shrek: Forever After (2010)
There's a reason Donkey's association with waffles is the best-ed aspect of his character. Donkey is known for his fascination with waffles, which is a running bit that stretches from the very first film to Shrek: Forever After. During that latter film, Donkey is surprised to find a stack of waffles sitting in a forest clearing, remarking that the Waffle Fairy is real after all. These Shrek Donkey quotes show how gullible the character is, while also emphasizing his love of the breakfast food.
As lovably dense as Donkey is, it is difficult for fans not to find the notion of a Waffle Fairy utterly hilarious. Of course, given the franchise's fairy tale setting, it isn't impossible to rule out the existence of such a creature, making Donkey's greatest wishes come true after all.
16 "[I'm] A Fancy Feasting Second-Rate Sidekick!"
Shrek The Third (2007)
Shrek the Third
WHERE TO WATCH
Shrek embarks on a new adventure when he is tasked with finding a suitable heir to the throne of Far Far Away. Reluctant to become king himself, Shrek sets out with Donkey and Puss in Boots to locate the rightful heir, a teenage boy named Arthur. Meanwhile, back in the kingdom, Fiona and her friends face a coup led by the vengeful Prince Charming.
- Release Date
- May 18, 2007
- Runtime
- 93 minutes
- Director
- Chris Miller, Raman Hui
- Writers
- William Steig, Andrew Adamson, Jeffrey Price, Peter S. Seaman, Chris Miller, Aron Warner
Donkey and the fairy tale character Puss in Boots have one of the best friendly rivalries in the Shrek franchise, which continues in Shrek the Third. In the film, the two accidentally switch bodies after Merlin casts a spell to teleport them back to Far, Far Away. Upon realizing his new physical state, Donkey takes the opportunity to take a jab at his friend.
Donkey's disgust and horror at having been turned into a cat are only elevated by his sheer distaste for Puss in general. "I've been abra-cadabra'd into a Fancy Feasting second-rate sidekick!" This would also mark the beginning of a fantastic running bit between the two characters as they continue to express their hatred for one another while inhabiting the opposite body throughout the movie. However, it was these Donkey quotes in Shrek that got the ball rolling.
Shrek's 35 Funniest Quotes
Shrek is the kind of ogre who is less scary and more silly. Throughout all of his films, he has delivered some really hilarious lines.
