Summary
- The Sims 4's original concept of a Romance skill looks fun but problematic.
- Players often rely on spamming positive interactions to guarantee romantic success in the game.
- Fans call for an overhaul to the limited dating system in The Sims 4, with hopes of a modern romance expansion.
Dating in The Sims 4 has always been one of the game's more under-developed systems but based on this resurfaced piece of concept art, it was initially going to look very different in a way that could have been problematic. Traditionally speaking, most players romance Sims by pulling off the tried-and-tested formula of spamming positive interactions with another character in an effort to increase the relationship meter until it's high enough that flirting won't ever be rejected. The scrapped system is similar but still features an odd perspective on forming romantic connections.
Posted to Reddit by Hopeful_Banana, the original concept art, illustrated by Albert Truong, depicts what seems to be Romance Skill where a Sim would start out bashful and unaware of the norms around dating before eventually becoming irresistible with enough practice.
While no doubt a fun and relatable take on the early days of dating, s in the comments have pointed out that it could be problematic to promote the idea of simply ignoring someone's refusal for romance and wearing them down over time. It also removes the agency of one party, making for a one-sided interaction.

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A Romance Skill Presents Some Controversy For Simmers
Was EA Right To Leave Out This Skill?
The concept art poses an interesting question about The Sims and its dating world, sparking a debate in the comments of the post as players discussed whether the scrapped Romance skill would have crossed a line when it comes to romance and consent. Redditor megadori commented:
"the storyboard makes the interactions look [sic] is creepy and perpetuates the idea that if a person rejects you, you just have to try harder and be more charming."
However, others were quick to point out this is essentially how the mechanic already works in-game: players need to raise their relationship with any Sim before attempting to romance them, and if they don't have a relationship foundation, their attempts at love will be thwarted. 9for9 responded:
"Isn't this how most people play this game anyway? They spam positive or friendly interaction until the relationship bar is so high and go in for a flirt when they know it won't be resisted. Or better yet open up MC command center and make the rejecting sim attracted to their sim or whatever they want until they can get that sim."
Dating In Sims 4 Needs Some Improvements
A System Overhaul Has Been Long-Requested By Fans
While it's currently unknown why the Romance skill was never added to The Sims 4, it's possible that it wasn't included because it promoted an unrealistic dating standard. Fans of the mechanic have noted that it's meant to represent a Sim working on themselves to become more desirable but the result comes across like a character that's simply learned how to manipulate people. Given the game's often zany tone, such a dynamic may have worked if it were not presented through such a desirable lens.
Dating in The Sims 4 is somewhat of a limited experience as players generally just pick an individual and rank up their relationship until romantic interactions are guaranteed to succeed. The community has long called for the system to be overhauled given that it feels outdated and limited, especially in comparison to The Sims 3. The previous game in the franchise even allowed s to create online dating profiles for their Sims that could result in disaster if the character lied about their interests in order to gain more matches.
One of The Sims 4's most popular (and difficult) dateable characters is the Grim Reaper, who can even be married.
While rumors suggestthat The Sims 4 will soon gain a modern romance expansion, Maxis has yet to confirm whether such an update is planned. In the interim, players unwilling to wait for confirmation on the DLC can instead check out the game's many mods which include some excellent dating revamps. One of the most popular introduces a Tinder-like app into the game, allowing Sims to pick exactly the kind of relationship they want.
Source: Hopeful_Banana/Reddit

The Sims 4
- Publisher
- Electronic Arts
- Genre
- Life Simulation
- Mode
- Single Player
- Platform
- PS4, Xbox One, PC