With the re-release of expected to reach theaters by September 2, fans hope that there are more extended scenes and banter between the three Spider-Men. This includes adding comic book jokes and quips that reflect on Spider-Man's humor when he fights against villains like Green Goblin or Doc Ock.
From jokes in the comics as small as breaking the fourth wall during an awkward situation to Peter's poor attempt at insulting Green Goblin, the comics have been filled with literal comedy, and Ranker fans compiled some of the funniest Spider-Man's quip in the comics.
Note: Ranker lists are live and continue to accrue votes, so some rankings may have changed after this publishing.
Purses Are Used For Everything
"Except The Dignity Of Knowing I Never Carried A Man-Purse"
It is well-known in the comics and the movies that Green Goblin is one of Spider-Man and Doc Ock's biggest adversaries. In a comic run with Superior Spider-Man, Doc Ock takes over Peter's mind, and only after realizing Peter is the only one who can defeat Goblin, does he release Peter from his control.
Noting that Green Goblin still thinks he is Doc Ock, Peter takes a jab at one of the accessories Green Goblin wears, a purse. Even though purses are readily available to everyone of all gender identities, what makes this line comedic is that not only did Green Goblin attempt to insult Doc Ock, but Peter was also showcasing how ironic it is to carry weapons in a purse.
Yo Momma... But Not Really
"You are so fat... that when you cut yourself shaving...marshmallow fluff comes out"
Kingpin is one of Marvel's most complex villains as he not only uses his strength to his advantage, but his intellectual ability as well. Kingpin uses his smarts throughout the comics to manipulate businessmen and officials to his advantage. Needless to say, when Peter came face-to-face with Kingpin, he would need rock hard evidence to lock him away for good.
Peter's goal throughout this confrontation was to elicit a physical response from Kingpin. In order to provoke such a response, Peter takes a set of flashcards from his backpack and tells Kingpin, in the most blunt way possible, that he is fat. While it is a very immature and disrespectful quip on Spider-Man's part, it does the job. Kingpin is rattled, and he lunges for Peter. The joke is a problematic issue regarding weight and fat-shaming, and people of all shapes and sizes should not define any hero or villain.
Instant Panic
"Think, think, think, panicking, can't think. Work on instinct. Instincts bad."
When holding a large bag of stolen money, the obvious answer is to just throw it out the window. That is exactly what Peter did in this relatable moment from the The Many Loves of The Amazing Spider-Man comic book run. After obtaining large bags of money, Peter winds up in his room with no way to dispose of the cash and ends up throwing it out of the window in panic.
Peter has the best instinctual tingle in the comics and in the MCU, and they have never really been wrong. In this case, Peter's panic gets the better of him. Because this is such a relatable internal conversation, coupled with Peter's quite sudden urge to throw the cash out of the window, this scene is both relatable and funny.
Dating Again
"So, I see you've started dating again."
Some of Spider-Man's funniest quotes are delivered during a fight sequence. While most lines are said during tense situations, it's not the best idea to joke around when dealing with one of the toughest characters in the Marvel comics.
In a fight between Peter and the Punisher, Peter notices a woman who has ed in on the fight. Even though Peter attempts to talk himself down from making a joke about the Punisher's dating life, Peter still blurts out, "So, I see you've started dating again," to the Punisher. This joke was poorly timed, not the best comment to make, and shows poor judgement on Peter's part, but it is exactly those reasons that makes that quip so funny in the eyes of the fans.
Name Change Time
"Paste-Pot pee-hee-hee-hee" "That's it, I'm changing my name"
Making fun of someone's name is a great way to get the person to just walk away, and that is exactly what Spider-Man did in the Human Torch #1. In the comic strip, Peter scales the side of a building only to find Peter Petruski, aka, Paste-Pot Pete, who is looking to destroy the Human Torch.
Naturally, Peter's teenage instincts kicked in, and, as he was held at gunpoint, cracked up at the mere thought of Pete's name. By the end of the comic, Pete Petruski walks away in agitation leaving a healed over Peter on the roof. Between Pete's serious demeanor when he states his name, to Peter laughing during a very tense situation, this comic strip was still a very nice twist to comedy in the comics.
Don't Be Tripping
"Well, to thwart a menace of this magnitude requires a very sophisticated and specialized crime-fighting technique..."
Actions are sometimes funnier than words. In this comic book run, Peter attempts to thwart a villain who, quite literally, is the height of a building. Approached by an anxious taxi cab driver, Peter is asked how he is going to stop a villain of such magnitude and height. After delivering this powerful line that insinuates Peter has a plan, Peter proceeds to trip the giant tin can.
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Peter's voice of determination is what makes both the set-up of this sarcastic joke, and the execution of it, extremely funny. It shows the fans that it was both extremely easy to defeat the villain, and that Peter's sarcasm levels reached an all time high.
J. Jonah Jameson
"Umm... J. Jonah Jameson. 475 Riverside Drive, Penthouse. I am there from 8 PM on..."
It is well known in both the MCU and the Marvel comics that J. Jonah Jameson and Spider-Man have a rivalry. He created an on-air sensation aimed at outing Spider-Man for the "scam" that he is. Of course, this on-air network makes Peter's life a bit tricky now and again, as J. Jonah Jameson will do anything in his power to make Spider-Man out to be the "bad guy."
There is no better way to approach an internet troll than to give an angry villain his exact name and address. Because of Peter's history with Jonah and his witty spur-of-the-moment thinking, this joke still holds a sense of amusement and comedy for the Marvel readers who know this dynamic history.
Spelling Is Important
"Spider-Man!" "I'm glad you ed the hyphen! Most people leave it out!"
Comic book characters can also break the fourth wall. In this comic, Spider-Man points out the common misspelling of his name to both the fans, and the villain he was facing. This was not the first time Spider-Man had broken the fourth wall in the comics, but it sure was the most comedic.
In this X-Mas special, Spider-Man is forced to confront Electro during the holidays of all times. Upon seeing Spider-Man, Electro exclaims "Spider-Man!" to which Spider-Man states that people normally leave the hyphen in his name out. The joke is two-fold as it not only breaks the fourth wall but has fans questioning whether they too have made grammatical errors surrounding Spider-Man's name.
Underwear Stuck To His Butt
"And now my pants are stuck to my butt. And it's been over an hour. And I really have to pee."
In a confession to Iron Man and Captain America, Peter its that around the holidays, him and, arguably one of the best villains, Doc Ock, had their mind swap. During a fight scene, Peter stated that he had an incident which called for a new pair of underwear - which in Spider-Man meant making a pair of underwear out of web fluid.
Peter later found out that Doc Ock had modified his web formula, and, as a result, the underwear Peter was wearing, was stuck. Whether Doc Ock modified Peter's formula as a way to prank Peter in the future is still up to debate. Peter was also itting his predicament in front of Captain America and Iron Man, embarrassing himself in front of two of his role models giving a good laugh to the fans.
Sweating Bullets
"The real reason Jonah hates me... is because I'm Black."
J. J Jameson and Peter have a long relationship and strong animosity towards one another. In this comic book run, Spider-Man is in court claiming that Jonah has it out for Peter. Still a high school student, Peter naturally cracks a controversial joke to get both Jonah sweating, and the court room in shock. Of course, Spider-Man has never shown his face to anyone and, in this strip, Peter claims that the reason Jonah hates him is because he is Black.
Jonah naturally starts sweating stating that he has Black friends to which Peter, only after he's let Jonah squirm a little bit, states that he is not Black. This comment defiantly shut up Jonah's lawyer. Though fans found this to be a hilarious joke, it is controversial due to the subject matter of racism.
NEXT: 5 Spider-Man Villains Who Deserve Redemption (& 5 That Are A Lost Cause)