Dr. Beverly Hodstadter, Ph.D., M.D., is the cold and distant mother to The Big Bang Theory's Leonard Hofstadter. Before meeting her in the second season, Leonard credits most of his insecurities and shortcomings to his unemotional and analytical mother.
We learn when we finally meet her in "The Maternal Capacitance" the truth of this as she explains that the only reason her husband and her danced with the idea of coitus was to procreate and study their children.
Fast forward 30+ years and Leonard's sour mother is still the core source of most of Leonard's pain, even as an adult.
Beverly wasn't a main cast member in The Big Bang Theory but she sure did make an impact with her unusual parenting techniques.
A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY IS THEIR PARENTS' ACHIEVEMENT
By the time the ninth season rolls around, fans are very much acquainted with Leonard and his relationship with his mother. The two have a tense relationship and Beverly rarely visits her son.
But when Leonard starts seeing Dr. Gallo in "The Sales Call Sublimation," he starts their session off with a fact about his mother. "Did you know she never let me celebrate my birthday because being born was her achievement, not mine," he said to her fiercely.
To further his point, he even mentioned that he sends her a card with money in it every year on his birthday.
BIRTHDAYS AREN'T WORTH CELEBRATING
Speaking of birthdays, not only does Leonard reward his mother on his special day but he's also never been celebrated like so many of his friends have.
To Beverly and her ex-husband Alfred, they would rather celebrate their children's other achievements instead of the anniversary of them being "expelled from a birth canal." In fact, the only time Leonard thought his parents were throwing him a surprise party, it turned out to be a funeral for his grandfather.
COMMUNICATION IS NOT KEY
The idea behind communication is tossed around quite often between Beverly and Leonard. After finding out that his mother is closer to his best friend and roommate Sheldon, he wonders if there was a chance he could have a similar relationship with her. But as fans know, her version of communication does not work for Leonard.
In the eighth season, Beverly finally meets Mary Cooper, Sheldon's mom. To her surprise, Mary's parenting tactics were far different than her own and in her opinion Sheldon turned out to be remarkable. It made her briefly overthink her own role as a mother but too much time had ed.
ALWAYS COMPARE SIBLINGS
Leonard has two siblings that we don't see or hear much of. What we do know is that Leonard's younger brother Michael is a tenured professor at Harvard and was engaged to a judge in New Jersey. And his older sister is a medical researcher who—last we heard–was working on a diabetes study.
One could say that all three of Beverly's children are successful but to her, Leonard is anything but successful. When Leonard was a kid, she made him give back his science fair ribbon for winning a project his brother already mastered and she didn't care that he got married to Penny when his siblings married such esteemed people in their fields.
NEVER GIVE ANY SORT OF APPROVAL
The only person we've seen Beverly give her approval of is Sheldon. She eventually gives Penny her approval but it took a wild night out on the town to break down a few barriers.
In the fifth season, Leonard turns to his mother when he and Priya were having long-distance issues. All Beverly had to say was "Buck up, sissy pants" and to order her books on Amazon if he needed additional help. Likewise, when she first visited Caltech for the first time, she saw no reason in seeing Leonard's lab when the research he was doing was borrowed by the Italians.
WRITE A BOOK ON YOUR CHILD'S FLAWS
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter isn't just a doctor, she's an author. In "The Raiders Minimization," we learn that Beverly wrote a book called The Disappointing Child, a book about Leonard...
Oddly enough, Penny was assigned to read the book when she signed up for classes at the community college. It's then that we realize how truly agonizing Leonard's childhood was and how deeply rooted those issues are between him and his mother.
TALK TO YOUR SON'S BEST FRIEND MORE THAN YOUR SON
It upsets Leonard deeply that his mother is so close to Sheldon. It would be one thing if his mother was cold to everyone but the fact that she's grown fond of his best friend drives him crazy.
In season three, Beverly visits Leonard over the holidays and we find out that Sheldon is way more a part of Beverly's life than Leonard realized. Sheldon knew about Leonard's parents' divorce, the death of his uncle, and the death of his childhood dog — all before Leonard. After showing how upset he is by this relationship, his mother mocks him for constantly needing her approval.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS NO WAY TO RAISE A CHILD
If there's one mother that shows unconditional love for their child on The Big Bang Theory, it's Mary Cooper. She loves Sheldon to pieces no matter how difficult he is. Beverly, on the other hand, doesn't believe in unconditional love and thinks it's a poor way to raise a child.
However, after seeing how intelligent Sheldon became, she decides to switch her parenting tactic to shower Leonard with unconditional love. Sadly, it came off way too rigid and uncomfortable, making her and Leonard both feel awkward.
USE ELECTRODES TO MEASURE POTTY-TRAINING SUCCESS
After learning early on that Beverly and Alfred only procreated for the love of science, it was clear that Leonard's childhood must have been filled with different experiments and tests.
In the second season, Sheldon seems envious of Leonard's childhood, which involved test-taking, essays on Christmas and research. But Leonard retorts Sheldon's outlook, stating Mary Cooper was the better mother. According to him, "She's warm, she's loving, she doesn't glue electrodes to your head to measure brainwaves while you're potty training."
DON'T TELL YOUR SON HOW PROUD OF HIM YOU ARE
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter has said time and time again that she doesn't feel pride when speaking about her children's accomplishments because they're not her own accomplishments.
It was a big deal for both Beverly and Leonard when it came out that Beverly approved of Penny and Leonard's relationship. However, it took a few tears and a frustrated Penny to get Beverly to open up. Her random display of emotion made Leonard a puddle of tears.