With a record-breaking 33rd season that premiered last September and a renewal for a season 34 officially confirmed, The Simpsons continues to crank out rapid-fire jokes and throwaway gags with each new episode aired – despite how most viewers of the program's earlier seasons feel about its more recent years.
Regardless of what current perspectives of the show may be and what the future of the animated sitcom may hold, the memorable and quotable storylines of the early years still hold a special place in the hearts of many longtime fans. These joke selections are sourced specifically from classic episodes of the show's "Golden Age," a loosely-defined phrase that commonly refers to the series' first 10 seasons.
1000 Monkeys Working At 1000 Typewriters
Perhaps one of the most referenced gags that veers on the obscure side is this clever nod to the infinite monkey theorem in the season 4 episode "Last Exit to Springfield."
Occurring amongst a sequence of scenes where Mr. Burns, a complex and detailed Simpsons character, is showing off his mansion to Homer, they come to a room of 1000 overworked, chain-smoking monkeys working on typewriters to complete Mr. Burns' "greatest novel known to man." When Mr. Burns takes a sample from one of the typewriters, he reads out "it was the best of times, it was the blurst of times," a slightly flawed quote from Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities that executes a hilarious bit.
How Come No One Else's Chair Is Doin' This?
At times, the one-liners in The Simpsons can come and go so swiftly that it's easy for viewers to miss them. This quick yet hilarious one-liner from the season 5 episode "Marge on the Lam" proves to be characteristic of Groundskeeper Willie.
The scene begins with a scenic view of Springfield's country-themed bar Shotkickers before cutting to the interior, panning over the activities of the bar before arriving at Groundskeeper Willie riding the mechanical bull. As he's flailing about, he exclaims "how come no one else's chair is doin' this!?"
The Never Ending Story
It could be argued that almost every line ever uttered from unscrupulous lawyer Lionel Hutz could've made the cut, but this one takes the cake by being both clever and further accentuating the shady nature of this minor character. After Homer is ejected from one of The Simpson's best restaurants, a seafood t with an all-you-can-eat special, for overstaying his welcome in the Season 4 episode "New Kid on the Block," he turns to Lionel Hutz seeking legal representation.
Assuming Homer had already explained the situation in full, the scene opens in Lionel Hutz's office to him stating the following: "Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film The Never Ending Story."
Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo
A simple base for a joke can often provide the greatest effect for a smart execution. When Homer and a new employee at the nuclear power plant Mindy find themselves attracted to one another in the season 5 episode "The Last Temptation of Homer," he visits Moe's Tavern to seek advice as he feels conflicted and wants to stay faithful to Marge.
In explaining the situation to Moe, he wants Mindy to remain anonymous and refers to her as his "friend, Joey Jo-Jo Junior...Shabadoo?" Moe remarks that that's the "worst name [he's] ever heard," prompting an unknown man sitting at the end of the bar to run out crying. This directly speaks to the absurdity The Simpsons is historically known for.
Knifey-Spooney
As a combination of a pop culture reference and a silly premise, this joke is a favorite for some avid fans. While the Simpson family is visiting Australia as a result of Bart being indicted for fraud in the season 6 episode "Bart vs. Australia," one scene starts with the family at an Australian pub.
Bart is sitting at a table playing with a pocketknife when an Australian man resembling Mick Dundee from the film Crocodile Dundee approaches him and asks, "you call that a knife?" He then unsheathes a spoon and says, "this is a knife." After Bart points out that it's a spoon, the man responds, "alright, alright, you win. I see you've played knifey-spooney before." This memorable gag is reminiscent of the show's comedic tone during the earlier years.
How Can A Hamster Write Mysteries?
Another solid example of the show's trademark absurdist humor is this exchange between Lisa and a pet store clerk in the season 4 episode "Duffless." When Lisa asks for the most intelligent hamster the clerk has, he brings one out that he claims "writes mysteries under the name of J. D. McGregor."
Lisa questions how a hamster could write mysteries, to which the clerk responds, "Well, he gets the ending first, then he writes backwards," poking fun at the common tactic for mystery novelists or writers to determine the ending of their story first.
Who Are You? Where Are You Going?
Picking up from a season-end cliffhanger with the second part of this "Who Shot J. R.?" Dallas parody, this season 7 premiere titled "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)" was packed with tons of clues and red herrings, in addition to intelligent jokes like this one. After Mr. Smithers inaccurately recalls shooting Mr. Burns the night before while in a drunken rage, his church confessional turned secret police sting results in his arrest by law enforcement.
Police are escorting Smithers out of the confession when they're flanked by a mob of reporters and the first of which, identified as Dave Shutton of the Springfield Daily Shopper, simply asks, "Who are you? Where are you going?" For such a high-profile story in The Simpsons universe, it's silly to imagine a reporter who's done such little research.
Ever Seen A Guy Say Goodbye To A Shoe?
Essentially every quote from the friendly albeit overpowered Simpsons supervillain Hank Scorpio is an instant classic, so it's only fair to narrow it down to one memorable pick. Almost immediately after the Simpson family moves to a new town to accommodate Homer's new job in the season 8 episode "You Only Move Twice," Homer's new boss Hank Scorpio visits their home with a gift basket and initiates an eccentric exchange with the family.
Amongst the string of hospitality, he directs attention to the moccasins on his feet and mentions there's a pair for them in their closet – however, if they don't like them, "then neither does [he]!" and chucks them out the front door. "Get the hell outta here! Ever see a guy say goodbye to a shoe?" Hank asks, to which Homer chuckles and says, "Yes, once." It's humorous to suggest that Homer would have been in a situation like this once before in his life.
Me Fail English?
This simple, classic joke from Ralph Wiggum proves that even with a minor character who is seemingly dim-witted and oblivious to the world around him, the writers' room on The Simpsons can still flawlessly pull off a clever quip.
During a school assembly where Principal Skinner announces academic warnings towards the beginning of the season 6 episode "Lisa on Ice," the first student called up is Ralph who mistakenly believes "he won." Skinner clarifies that Ralph is failing English, which prompts the response: "Me fail English? That's unpossible!" The apparent grammatical errors from Ralph's use of the English language drive this clever joke home.
Bake Him Away, Toys!
Many of the jokes to come out of the writers' room at The Simpsons rely heavily on the distinguishing characteristics of the show's abundant minor characters; in this case, that character is the inept Chief Wiggum. Concluding season 5's episode "Cape Feare," an entire episode paying homage to the 1962 and 1991 films Cape Fear, law enforcement have Sideshow Bob in custody and Bart instructs the officers, "Take him away, boys!"
Chief Wiggum remarks, "Hey, I'm the chief here! Bake him away, toys!" which confuses the officers, and follows up with "do what the kid says." As with many of Chief Wiggum's best quotes, the basic yet effective joke is embellished by his perceived incompetence as a police chief.