There is a lot that is honorable about Elena, The Vampire Diaries' resident good-girl and main character. Elena has characteristics that pull people to her apart from her Katherine-doppelganger good looks. Elena is kind; her empathy (while human) is high. She connects with people, and she values her friends. Often times, she puts her own life at risk when her friends are in harm's way. When Caroline was turned into a vampire by Katherine and Damon wanted to kill Caroline, Elena used her body as a human shield to protect her friend. When both her and Matt were drowning and Stefan could only save one, she insisted he save her friend instead of her.
Still, with all of these good characteristics, Elena has also made a lot of poor decisions. We could blame it on her being a teenager at the start of the show, being too enamored with the Salvatore brothers, or for being too self-righteous. Whatever we choose to blame it on, here are the top 10 mistakes Elena made, and the lessons we can learn from each.
Don't Trust Your Enemies (Even If They Are Dying)
Once Katherine had been given the cure and made human again, her body began to rapidly decay, and she started to die. Katherine was often Elena's nemesis. However, as much as Elena didn't care for Katherine, she recognized that Katherine had a rough life. So, when it appeared that Katherine was on her death bed, Elena went over to say that she forgave Katherine. Except she got too close, and Katherine had a plan.
Katherine used magic to jump her soul into Elena's body and live again. Never underestimate an enemy like Katherine Pierce, even if she seems to be no threat and dying. Once a serious threat, always a potential threat.
Don't Go Back And Forth Between Brothers
Sure, it was a show with a love triangle, and Elena and the Salvatore brothers weren't the first love triangle in the show. Still, this love triangle didn't help Stefan and Damon's already complicated relationship. Once close brothers while human, Damon resented Stefan for decades after they were turned into vampires. Meanwhile, Stefan always tried to see the best in his brother and to make up for the fact that he convinced Damon to complete the vampire transformation.
Elena added another stone to an already rocky relationship between the brothers. She was with Stefan, but she also was interested in Damon. Since she didn't understand her feelings, she kept both waiting for her, which was unfair to both of them.
Don't Think You're Always Right
If there is one serious flaw that Elena has had consistently throughout the series, it is that she can be self-righteous or believe that she understands the situation better than anyone else. There are many times she has made mistakes due to this fault. While Elena can be very understanding with her friends, she doesn't often extend that understanding to others. One example is Rebekah Mikaelson, a powerful original vampire, and pegged as a villain in The Vampire Diaries.
Elena used her former mean-girl powers to get at Rebekah's insecurity and weakness. She used them against Rebekah, making Rebekah even more of an enemy rather than trying to understand her.
Don't Try to Control Your Sibling's Memories And Feelings
Elena's self-righteousness goes into full attention when it comes to protecting Jeremy, her brother, especially in the early seasons. When Vicki, Matt's sister and Jeremy's love interest, turns into a vampire and is killed, Elena doesn't want Jeremy to . She has his memories compelled away by Damon. Elena thinks that she's helping him move on with his life and not have to live with any more tragedies.
However, she's taking Jeremy's control away and his right to feel those emotions. In a sense, she isn't letting him grieve. So, an important lesson: While you may want to protect your loved ones, protecting them from their feelings does them more harm than good in the long run.
Don't Compel Away Memories Of Your Love
When the group isn't sure that they will recover Damon, Elena asks to have her memories of her love with Damon compelled away. She still wants to him, just not that she loved him. It could be that she's afraid that she'll never get him back, and it'll break her. It could be that she feels afraid of what she will do without him there. Regardless, her memories are compelled away.
It's like a piece of her is missing. It's hard to heal from a wound if you deny that the wound exists. Maybe painful memories aren't really an enemy.
Don't Underestimate Family Bonds
In The Vampire Diaries Klaus was introduced as the big bad. His older and more poised brother, Elijah, planned on taking him out. Elena trusted Elijah and that plan, banking a lot on it. What she didn't anticipate is Elijah's love for his brother. In the end, Elijah saw just one glimmer of hope that Klaus could be a better person. That one glimmer and his continued love for Klaus meant that the original plan was a flop.
No matter how much siblings are different and seem to hate each other, bonds can run deep. Don't underestimate them.
Don't Shut Off Your Humanity
The trait that makes Elena stand out is her comion and humanity. However, there comes a time, when Elena (now a vampire) has experienced so much grief and tragedy that she shuts off her humanity. The end result - she becomes an even worse vampire than Katherine. All that is shiny about Elena turns dull, and she hurts those that she cares about.
Once again, emotions are meant to be felt. When Elena shuts off her humanity, she becomes a monster to those she once loved, testing their friendship.
Don't Forget About Your Friends When You're In A New Relationship
Elena and Damon finally get together in Season 5, and they seem really happy. In fact, they are both so happy that they don't ask important questions: 1.) Where has been Stefan been for three months? 2.) Why is Bonnie not returning phone calls? Because they are happy in their new relationship, Elena doesn't question the strange absences of two of her close friends. If she had, she would have realized that Stefan was locked away by Silas, and that Bonnie was dead.
It's good to be happy, but it's not good to forget friends.
Don't Minimize Your Friend's Abusive Experience
Although many loved bad-boy Damon, waiting for the time that he and Elena were finally together, Damon wasn't always a stellar hero. He was complicated, sometimes in all of the best ways, making him an interesting character. However, one thing that he did which we can't minimize is when he abused Caroline. He manipulated and controlled her. He threatened her, and he compelled her to be with him.
Elena became irritated and tired of Caroline's words of concern about her relationship with Damon, minimizing Caroline's past with Damon.
Don't Feel You Have To Fix Your Romantic Partners
This one may be more controversial since Damon and Elena were seen as endgame. However, there are things about their relationship that are unhealthy. For starters, Elena is expected to "save" Damon, to be the good influence, and in a sense, to fix him. Stefan even justifies Elena choosing Damon, saying that his brother is a better person with her, that she makes him better. That is a lot of pressure on one person. No one should feel that they have to fix or save their partner, especially when the partner isn't trying to fix or help themselves.