Former co-stars Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder have been busy promoting their alcohol ventures across social media and on-ground, but their claim to fame will always be their roles of star-crossed lovers, Damon and Elena. The Vampire Diaries was about the creatures of the night, brotherly bonds, and love triangles, and their ship, Delena, took over the world and continues to enthrall fans to date.
Upon rewatch, there are several aspects of the famed relationship which seem dated and unhealthy, especially when they are viewed through a contemporary lens. Damon and Elena's ionate love captured audiences' imaginations, but the nature of their relationship, their choices, and their reunion don't seem as ideal today as they did back in 2017.
They Were Not A Healthy Couple
Delena shippers think the best about Damon and Elena, but objectively, the couple had a pretty toxic relationship. From the very beginning, Damon refused to respect Elena's boundaries, which was why he forced his blood down her throat, compelled her, and killed her brother (and friends) when she rejected his advances.
He exerted too much control on a young teenager, which is never okay. In the name of helping her, Damon made her flip her humanity switch which only led to disastrous consequences for her. Elena was also codependent with him, which led to her horrific reaction to his death. If Damon and Elena communicated, set boundaries, and didn't get violent so often, their ship would have been easier to get behind.
Damon Didn't Treat Women Well
With his spotty romantic history, Damon was never a good contender for a partner, especially for a comionate young woman like Elena. His record with women was hopeless at the beginning, starting with Vicki, then Caroline and Andie. He used women like objects, before his so-called redemption came to be in The Vampire Diaries.
Even then, the only woman he had any consideration for was Elena, and no one else mattered. His care for Bonnie came too late, and there was no apology for his alleged assault on Caroline. Women died around Damon, and John Gilbert was right in wanting to safeguard Elena from the Salvatores.
Elena Only Chose Him For Excitement
For a long time, it seemed like Elena only chose Damon for the rush of adrenaline that came along with him. One of the cringiest parts of TVD were when Elena kept talking about how Damon made her feel alive. Upon rewatch, it just seems like he was a bad boy who piqued her interest more than Stefan, and she kept chasing the high.
Elena and Damon had nothing in common, and it was quite out of character for her to fall for a man who had consciously killed so much. They shared a deep love, but there was definitely an aspect of a forbidden romance, which drew Elena to the elder Salvatore.
Damon Had Been With Elena's Mother
A fact that is easy to forget in the whirlwind of first kisses and endgames is that Damon had been with Elena's mother in the past. When Isobel wanted to become a vampire, he slept with her and turned her, which was pretty weird when he started seeing her daughter.
This also signified how old Damon really was, that he was able to date both Isobel and her teenage daughter in the same lifetime. The age gap was concerning for many, but Damon's relations with Isobel that were never addressed made Delena seem a lot worse than it was.
Delena Was A Product Of Infidelity
There is no right way of finding love, but Damon and Elena's love hurt Stefan a lot in The Vampire Diaries. It started as an emotional affair between Damon and Elena while Stefan was trapped with Klaus, and grew into a bigger romance as they searched for him and bonded during that time.
Damon knowingly went after his brother's girlfriend and charmed her, with the intention of winning her over. These intimate moments led to real love blossoming between them, but it can't be disputed that poor Stefan got cheated on by both his girlfriend and his brother.
The Sire Bond Was Unnecessary
Redditors want to change some parts of Delena's relationship, the foremost being the pesky sire bond. The beginnings of the official relationship were incredibly rushed between the two, who ended up getting intimate, because of this blood bond that formed between them. It felt inauthentic for Elena to switch so suddenly from Stefan to Damon, and not care about the former at all.
Without it, the progression to love and intimacy would have been slower and more natural, which most fans would have preferred anyway. It seemed too on the nose, and the romance should have been allowed to breathe and chart a steady course, instead.
Damon Fell For Her Because Of Katherine's Resemblance
Katherine managed to be the best double agent on The Vampire Diaries because of the shared countenance with Elena, and it also kickstarted the Damon and Elena love story. Damon loved Elena for her heart and beautiful soul, but his curiosity about her was ignited only because she looked exactly like Katherine. This was why he approached her on the road before the accident.
He also was still madly in love with Katerina when he arrived in Mystic Falls, hoping to free her from the tomb. It was only after she betrayed him, did he turn his attentions to Elena. It was natural that he would be attracted to the girl who resembled his former love, and that was where their romance began.
There Was Too Much Compulsion For Comfort
One thing that a good relationship should lack is manipulation, which was a big part of Delena, unfortunately. On both sides, compulsion erased memories, banished secret moments, and created huge gaps in the story. Damon had confessed his love to Elena and compelled her, and he had tried to do so even while she was on vervain.
When Elena couldn't handle the loss of Damon when he was in the prison world, she made Alaric compel away all of her memories of the relationship, which was a huge betrayal and also very unhealthy. Mind control was too enmeshed in Delena, and less of it would have enhanced the relationship.
The Decision To Be Cured Seemed One-Sided
Damon said he was onboard with being a cured vampire, thus living out his human life with Elena, but it seemed like a decision he took only for Elena's happiness. He had professed, on multiple occasions, how much he loved being immortal, infallible, and an apex predator. He was used to living with these privileges, so the sudden about-turn was suspicious.
The two also seemed incredibly suited to each other when they were both vampires, so the cure being introduced was quite unnecessary. The Vampire Diaires fans are divided about this, but many felt that Damon only took it to stay with Elena.
Their Reunion In The Finale Was Awkward
Delena stans had waited two whole seasons to see their favorites reunite once Elena rose from her slumber, but most realized how unsatisfactory their reunion really was. Either the actors had been apart for too long, or there was a lack in direction and acting because there was no enthusiasm between Damon and Elena when they met.
In fact, as Elena said goodbye to Stefan, they had more chemistry than Delena did when they met in a seemingly impossible condition. Fans expected fireworks, but there were none.
The Vampire Diaries is available to stream on HBO Max and Peacock.